Prison and God

My obsession was all-powerful. Summoning all my resources, I could not dislodge it. Then three simple words did the trick: “Came to believe.” - Anonymous
We were prisoners of our obsessions. No more. Three words, “came to believe,” were the key that unlocked the gates of our personal prison.
When we rely on this power, wonderful and unexplainable things happen. Once this power unlocks the prison gates, anything is possible.
- In God’s Care, June 1

There are many ways we can be imprisoned.

One of my spiritual teachers began his spiritual awakening 30+ years ago while incarcerated. He’d run away from home when he was 13, then landed up in reform schools, jails, and the state penitentiary. This last stop was for a crime he’d not committed, but his hope of ever being released was dismal. Then he had a spiritual experience while lying in his bunk one day. It changed his attitude toward his defense lawyer and from there, miracles started happening. He was set free and his life has been about waking up and service ever since.

With all this teacher went through, he is fond of saying that he prefers his prison to have bars.

Yep, it certainly is easier when I can concretely see how I limit myself. When I was in the throes of my eating addiction, I finally was able to see that it was a symptom of something deeper. When I became open to asking for help, it was the beginning of the process of my release from prison.

When this devout atheist heard that she could choose her own conception of God, then “came to believe,” the key was turned and my prison door unlocked. Since then, relying on a Power greater than myself, I’ve been stepping out more and more from the prison of the ego, something I cannot always see as clearly has the bars of a prison cell, but surely quite as dismal.

Cultivating a close relationship with Spirit, my life has been filled with miracle upon miracle, and my soul has rejoiced. Coming to believe was the answer to my prison release and the beginning of my waking up to The Presence and this new earth.

Reborn

As I look back on my life these past several months, I have been reborn again and again. It’s obvious that this notion of being reborn is no longer a once-in-a-lifetime experience as I’d sensed it was. Yet its increased frequency doesn’t diminish its significance one bit.

So what do I mean by being reborn? My working definition of “being reborn” is: “a significant inner shift of a positive and spiritual nature that alters my sense of self and others thereby transforming my world view followed by a change in attitude and action.”

Sounds a lot like a miracle to me.

Gratitude Circle

I have found my home at the weekly Gratitude Circle at Unity of Sedona I just recently started attending. I’ve been trying to figure out what makes it feel like home because the only other venue I feel this is close to is a 12 Step meeting.

Here’s the bottom line: sharing honestly, from the heart, about Spirit working in our lives as we strive to wake up, in a sacred space of openness and respectfulness of each one’s path.

I’m quite often surrounded by intellectualism and not much expression of experiencing and feeling God’s Grace. Although the vast majority of people in my life are spiritual and on a conscious path, it seems to me we don’t often talk from the heart about our experience. Missing are the tales of synchronicity, miracles, "oh shits" turned into blessings. I could sit around 24/7 listening to people share about this stuff. This was what I was hungering for before I joined 12 Step program almost 20 years ago, and it is what I hunger for still. Connection. To people, to Spirit.

This kind of meaningful, heartfelt talk and sharing of the journey opens me up to God and to the connection between us spiritual beings having this human experience. There’s this heart bond. In 12 Step program our bond is that we share a common malady that is solved by coming to believe in a Power greater than ourselves and then we put our faith and gratitude into service, into action; we are graced even more.

Sitting in a sacred circle of gratitude hearing experience, strength, and hope makes me feel like one heart, like One.

Spiritual Prescription

Last night I watched the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie “My Name is Bill W.”, the story of the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have often heard it said in the 12 Step rooms that the coming together of Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith and their formulation of the 12 Step principles was a miracle. And many others describe AA as the greatest spiritual movement of the 20th century. I’d have to agree.

This coming June will be the 75th anniversary of the start of AA... and this March marks 20 years that I first stepped into the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous (OA).

Not only did I get help with the physical issue of my eating disorder, but even more importantly, I got the spiritual help my soul was crying out for (unbeknownst to me). As I’ve learned, whatever manifests in the physical is the end result of something spiritual in nature. And, a foundation for living was given to me; I am so grateful for the guidance.

Bill W. wrote in the September 1947 issue of Guideposts the following:

“Our most enthusiastic friends think Alcoholics Anonymous is a modern miracle. So they ask, "Why can't A.A. principles be applied to any personal problem?" The world today is a problem world because it is full of problem people. We are now on the greatest emotional bender of all time; practically no one of us is free from the tightening coils of insecurity, fear, resentment and avarice. If A.A. can revive an alcoholic by removing these paralyzing liabilities from him, it must be strong medicine. Perhaps the rest of us could use the same prescription.”

Surely these days there are many going through life without a compass. Especially in these accelerated and crazy times, a spiritual prescription is the key for waking up and living in joy, peace, and love regardless of outer appearances.

The Hunt

Hunting God is a great adventure. – Marie De Floris

When I finally “came to believe”, it was through synchronicity, i.e., there is no such thing as coincidence. Since that huge turning point in my life, I have been hunting for God and it is indeed a great adventure. I can never tell what will happen, who I’ll meet, what “ah-ha’s” might come my way, etc.

I’m always tickled when a synchronistic event takes place as it is evidence for me that God does indeed exist and that God is in my life. I love to be on the lookout for these events and for the miracles that say “I am here in your midst. You are not alone.”

Miracles

“Where there is great love there are always miracles.” – Willa Cather

And, where there are miracles, there is God. A miracle is a change in perception - God and love are instrumental in effecting that.

Dear Spirit of the Most High –
Enfold me in Your Love and Your Grace so that I may perceive and be transformed by the countless miracles that abound. Thank You, thank You, thank You.

Thanksgiving II

Yesterday I was driving on State Route 89A from Sedona towards Cottonwood, making my way to the ultimate destination of Gilbert to have one last packing up session with our house there. This trip I was driving sans Rog so I had the opportunity to be alone with God in any way I chose.

When I drive alone I’m usually singing spiritual music, which feels like prayer to me; I love connecting to Source in this manner. But on this early sunny morning I actually sat in the Silence for a while. Viewing all the beauty around me got me to thinking about the road I alone, and with Rog, have traveled in recent times with God. I started listing my blessings.

I am grateful that we now live in a small town filled with many spiritually awakened souls and host to many spiritually awakening and cultural events. I am grateful that I feel a part of community. I am grateful that every day I am surrounded and can view the natural beauty of this place.

I am grateful for all the miracles God came through with to get Rog and me moved from Gilbert to this perfect home for us in Sedona. Some came at the 11 ½ hour, but they came. The owners couldn’t be more wonderful folks and we feel grateful and privileged that they ‘entrusted’ this home to our care. This place is rich with character and coziness and indeed feels like a ‘vacation home’ to us.

I am grateful for the new life that is unfolding for me that includes singing in a choir, being of service especially during the upcoming holiday season, meeting new people, and engaging in meaningful conversation. I am grateful for the loving and welcoming disposition of everyone (it seems), from Unity attendees to the grocery check-out person. I am grateful for old friends and relatives who are loving and supportive.

I am grateful for my good health and capable physical body, and for the fresh air and exercise that is a more natural part of my lifestyle now.

I am grateful that I have a steady business contract with a local business person; this contract lays a financial foundation for us to start with. And, the client and I work well together. In addition, it’s a natural way to get immersed into the local community. I am grateful for new business contracts on their way to manifestation.

I am grateful for a great, reliable automobile, my 2003 Camry named Espiritu / Spirit II, with its license plate that is a continual reminder to me of God’s presence and the attitude I need to hold each and every minute - GUIDEME.

And most of all I am grateful I am sharing all of this adventure called Life with my twin flame and husband Roger.

I am surely blessed!

Thank You, Spirit, for all that you have given me in this life. There is indeed so much to be grateful for - in fact, everything since it all comes from You, Source of All Good.

Thanksgiving I

I am reminded this morning that my heart can “swell with a song of thanksgiving to God” for the many blessings that God has showered upon me even if my present circumstances may be less than ideal.

I no doubt feel gratitude - I’ve no trouble with that. What I need a dose of is increased faith and trust that Spirit would not have taken me this far just to drop me. In fact, all these wonderful blessings and miracles are signs - no, much more than signs -, demonstrations of God’s love, grace, and goodness.

May I remember throughout this day that Spirit is with me and taking care of me. It is the Source of all and only goodness stems from It.

Thank You, Spirit, for filling my heart every day with a song of thanksgiving no matter the circumstances.

On Gratitude

It's hard to believe that November is halfway over, and the season of gratitude is upon us. Of course, any season, any time, is one of gratitude.

We've had many blessings and miracles showered upon us especially during these past several months. And so, with gratitude keenly in my thoughts these days, I easily resonated with the sentiment of this quote I came across the other day.

“Gratitude takes three forms: a feeling in the heart, an expression in words, and a giving in return.” – Anonymous

The Good Shepherd

How is that so many of us human beings are easily able to move from experiencing and enjoying goodness to next feeling that it will not last or it will be taken away?

I have been studying Emmet Fox’s analysis of the 23rd Psalm, and it amazes me that any of us – moi included – carry this negative propensity. Where did it come from? I know: programming from parents and society. Well, I’m ready to be re-programmed. And, meditating on this psalm, is a great tool in helping achieve this.

Here’s just the beginning to inspire one and change thought patterns:
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.

“Lord” means “God”, and as Fox says, it is “my own knowledge of Truth, as that knowledge is the Presence of God in me, my indwelling Christ.” This Lord is my shepherd and he takes care of his sheep. Hence, the Lord will take care of me. Ahh... how sweet the thought.

If I really believe that “I shall not want”, then there is nothing for me to be afraid of. If the Lord/Shepherd is taking care of me, why would I be fearful anyway?

“Green pastures” symbolize an abundance of all good things that I need, and perfect all-around harmony in my life. “They are to be mine permanently and forever, and not merely as a temporary demonstration; that is why I may be said to lie down in them.” Again, a positive thought pattern I choose to internalize.

With “water” symbolizing the soul, the last phrase means that the power of God in prayer sets my soul at rest giving me perfect peace. And, when I have perfect peace, my demonstration must come. With perfect peace, what more could I yearn for anyway?

If I believe in an all-loving, all powerful, etc. God, why oh why do I think that He would not continue to take care of me? With the many blessings and miracles that have been showered upon me throughout my entire lifetime, and particularly in recent months, actually this last week, it is absurd for me to think that God would take me this far only to drop me into an abyss of lack of any kind.

I move forward strengthening my thought system that God is my Source, and only good – yes, only good –comes from this loving, omnipotent, Presence. This brings peace to my soul, tranquility to my life. I am so grateful.

Surrendering Once Again

This morning as I lay in bed, I started feeling anxious, which hasn’t happened in a while. It revolved around how I could start my new part-time position in Sedona on Monday when we haven’t a new place to call home yet. I was definitely experiencing a lack of faith and trust. How could God not provide a place for me to live when He so smoothly dropped this business opportunity into my lap?

So after sitting in the Silence (as best as possible), yet another morning reading focused on surrendering to God – think there’s a message here?!

“We wear ourselves out trying to control the uncontrollable, while God patiently waits to receive our burdens. All we need to do is hand them over: God’s presence is here, now.

“When we surrender all our concerns to God – both our failures and our successes – we begin to realize the breadth of God’s care and the constancy of God’s presence in our life. We have always been close to God, as close as our breath.

“Learning to acknowledge God as our protector and guide is exhilarating and eases our every step, thought, plan, and dream. We are learning that we can do nothing alone, but we can do anything if we just let God join us in partnership.

“I have God as my companion always. I’ll remember that today and be at ease.” – In God’s Care, October 30

Soon afterwards I had an email from a friend who lives a couple of towns over from Sedona offering me her place to stay short term if need be.

As Rog said this evening several times, miracles have been raining upon us. Sometimes I feel like it would be a miracle if I would surrender once and for all.

Dear Spirit;
Thank You for all the blessings and miracles you shower upon me even when I lose faith and attempt to control and figure things out. I acknowledge You as my Source, and, once again, I surrender.

Mind Versus Heart

“Don’t try to reach God with your understanding; that is impossible. Reach Him in love; that is possible.” – Carlo Carretto

When I was a devout atheist, I was trying to have the existence of God proven to me directly. But there wasn’t a way for my logical ability and understanding to show me that Spirit existed. Even studying the philosophy of religion in college and learning of the arguments for God’s existence made down through the ages only proved to me that God’s existence could not be proved in a scientific way.

When my mind let go of the notion for logical understanding of God and my heart opened up just a tiny bit (the size of a mustard seed) to a possible other way, I found the ‘proof’ I needed.

It wasn’t in the form of logic, understanding, or scientific evidence. It was from hearing about and witnessing the character rearrangements and what could only be deemed ‘miracles’ in those around me walking a spiritual path. My soul was touched and it could only be God behind all this. God had reached my fellow travelers through love, and God had reached me too.

With all my thinking, it was not possible for me to conceive of or reach God, but through my heart being flooded by Its love, it was a no-brainer.

Wanting God

“What do you think of God,” the teacher asked. After a pause, the young pupil replied, “He’s not a think, he’s a feel.” – Paul Frost

When I was an atheist, I couldn’t find the evidence of God’s existence. I was logical to the extreme and any discussion about a deity that I might engage in (which I tried not to) was totally from an intellectual standpoint. And, intellectually, I just couldn’t see the evidence proving the existence of God. But when I joined 12 Step program, and started opening my heart, started feeling, it was another story.

We simply cannot think our way to God, we have to feel our way. And, we have to want it. I wanted it because I had reached bottom with my eating disorder. I wanted a relationship with this Being when I observed the miracles in the lives of my new OA buddies. I wanted it because I wanted to have the same wonderful experiences that could only occur with having a relationship with God.

It’s been 19 years since “coming to believe” and I’m still the most logical person I know. But logic plays an increasingly smaller part in my life, and feeling The Presence, an ever-increasing one. I am grateful.

Choosing Joy

I had an exchange yesterday with a business acquaintance on the way to a meeting which put me in a funk for the entire meeting and more. I had been a ‘good little girl’ but nonetheless had been taken to task for some action I had taken to thank the group that I had been a guest of the prior week.

When I got home I decided I’d had enough of feeling the way I did, a reaction I’m sure from something that occurred many years ago in childhood. I’d had enough and wasn’t going to take it anymore! So I retired to my cave and did some tapping, more formally known as EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique.

EFT provides freedom from negative emotions, which then allows one to blossom and rise above whatever hidden hurdles have been keeping them from performing to their capacity. It is based on discoveries regarding the connection between the body's subtle energies, emotions, and health.

In a matter of mere minutes, the yucky feeling lifted – a miracle for sure! I don’t know if it’s permanently gone since I’m a novice at applying EFT. Nevertheless, it’s a tool I can and will go back to if I need to clear this issue again or another one.

I am so grateful that I remembered that this simple tool was available to me. I’m grateful that I loved myself enough to take action, that I made a choice for me. And, I’m grateful for the results.

The cleaner my emotions are, the clearer a channel I am to know God’s will. And, moving from any form of negative emotion to joy is surely God’s will.