Today’s Daily Word acknowledges Memorial Day, a U.S. holiday. But, interestingly, it goes beyond remembering the men and women who gave their lives in our nation’s service. Here it is in its entirety:
Monday, May 31, 2010
Remember
I lovingly remember others.
Remembering those who have given their lives in service, I reflect upon their sacrifice. I learn from the lessons they taught and from their accomplishments. I also remember the people who have made a meaningful contribution in my life. Because of them I have learned to live more fully.
Just as I build upon the acts and achievements of those who have gone before me, others may build upon my life's example. As I remember others today, others may remember me in the future.
Today I take a few moments to appreciate those who taught me by example, to honor those who showed me the way. Their love and their willingness have changed my life for the better, and I am grateful.
When I remember you in my prayers, I always thank my God. - Philemon 1:4
It’s interesting that during this morning’s quiet time I listened to a meditative, subliminal CD about forgiveness and peace of mind. Several people from the past came into my consciousness. They were folks who I’d been close to for many years but am no longer in touch with. While we’ve chosen to not be in one another’s lives these days, I remember them with love for making my life richer. They helped me become who I am today. I have much gratitude for them - their love, their patience, their wisdom.
There are so many others I remember and for whom I am grateful: School teachers, relatives, employers, co-workers, those who came before me in the 12 Step program, other spiritual mentors, and of course, friends and my beloved life partner and husband, Roger Wyer. All have blessed me with their presence in my life - even if sometimes I hadn’t a clue!
Thank You, Spirit, for all those I’ve met on this journey called Life. Bless them, bless them, bless them.
Showing posts with label 12 Step program. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 12 Step program. Show all posts
Monday, May 31, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Glowing
In my early years of 12 Step program work and cultivating my relationship with my Higher Power, people new to my life as well as old, would comment that there was something “different” about me. Yes, I had lost some weight, but that was not quite it. I was “glowing” many would say.
Most could not pinpoint the reason back of it, just as Bill initially couldn’t when Ebby visited him (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 9). Bill was amazed that his friend was sober, but there was something in addition to his sobriety. Ebby explains that he has found “religion” (in this case, aka “spirituality”) and a God of his understanding. And so it was with me.
In the years since, my glow has ebbed and flowed, ebbed and flowed. But last night in my class “Spiritual Evolution in Consciousness” someone told me I was “glowing” and another commented that I seemed uplifted. I didn’t have a chance to reply, but I know it was for the same reason as it was for Ebby and for me off and on over the years of my spiritual journey.
Spending more and more time with Spirit, especially in the realm of gathering with fellow journeyers, strengthens my inner divine spark. My heart opens, my character assets come to the foreground (and remain there longer), I am at peace and in love and joy. All because of my deepened relationship with the God of my understanding.
Putting God first in my life, puts the glow in me, and I shine from the inside out. I serve God as a power of example to others about what Higher Power can do for me that I never could do for myself. I am grateful.
Most could not pinpoint the reason back of it, just as Bill initially couldn’t when Ebby visited him (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 9). Bill was amazed that his friend was sober, but there was something in addition to his sobriety. Ebby explains that he has found “religion” (in this case, aka “spirituality”) and a God of his understanding. And so it was with me.
In the years since, my glow has ebbed and flowed, ebbed and flowed. But last night in my class “Spiritual Evolution in Consciousness” someone told me I was “glowing” and another commented that I seemed uplifted. I didn’t have a chance to reply, but I know it was for the same reason as it was for Ebby and for me off and on over the years of my spiritual journey.
Spending more and more time with Spirit, especially in the realm of gathering with fellow journeyers, strengthens my inner divine spark. My heart opens, my character assets come to the foreground (and remain there longer), I am at peace and in love and joy. All because of my deepened relationship with the God of my understanding.
Putting God first in my life, puts the glow in me, and I shine from the inside out. I serve God as a power of example to others about what Higher Power can do for me that I never could do for myself. I am grateful.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Plans
From time to time throughout my lifetime - especially when my ego was comparing me to other people - I would regret that I had not consciously planned out my life. You know, like the boy in 3rd grade who just knew he wanted to be a doctor and was preparing for med school at age 8. Or, the young lady in junior high who was already singing in musical theatre.
I received little guidance from my parents about this game called life, and simultaneously there did not seem to be any great specific desires inside me to stir me up.
Sure, I knew that I wanted to go to college despite my parents never asking me what I was going to do with my life after high school. And, I had this great yearning for what I would now call my twin flame. I seemed to have mini-plans but nothing that tied them all together.
When I entered the 12 Step program twenty years ago I heard many slogans to assist me from ‘picking up’ and to live life on life’s terms. One of these was “Failing to plan is planning to fail;” I have to say I was never quite comfortable with that one. Perhaps I felt it a bit contra to other ideas like God has a plan for me and more will be revealed, etc. And, then there’s the joke “How do you make God laugh? Tell Him you plans!”
On my journey I’ve embraced the notion that I’m a powerful being and co-create my life, and I’ve embraced I’m powerless and God is in charge. Well, which is it?
These days I once again am back to the idea that God has a plan for me and there’s really not much I can do about it. I do not find that aversive because the God of my understanding is total Love, Goodness, Grace, Joy, etc., so Its plan for me can only have such qualities as well. And, this is actually a relief. I can surrender and rest in Spirit’s most loving and competent hands and know that all is well. And, of course, it’s my choice to have an attitude of gratitude even when I can’t see the blessings in the darkness.
Yes, I am powerful, but only because that power comes through from Source. And, Source indeed has a divine plan for me.
Having learned about living in the Now, as I reflect back on my childhood so many years ago, perhaps I was a bit more ‘together’ than I give myself credit for. Just maybe I didn’t make a conscious plan for my life because I was simply living in the present moment, letting my life unfold according to the plan of an Unseen Power. And, my life was exactly how God planned it.
I received little guidance from my parents about this game called life, and simultaneously there did not seem to be any great specific desires inside me to stir me up.
Sure, I knew that I wanted to go to college despite my parents never asking me what I was going to do with my life after high school. And, I had this great yearning for what I would now call my twin flame. I seemed to have mini-plans but nothing that tied them all together.
When I entered the 12 Step program twenty years ago I heard many slogans to assist me from ‘picking up’ and to live life on life’s terms. One of these was “Failing to plan is planning to fail;” I have to say I was never quite comfortable with that one. Perhaps I felt it a bit contra to other ideas like God has a plan for me and more will be revealed, etc. And, then there’s the joke “How do you make God laugh? Tell Him you plans!”
On my journey I’ve embraced the notion that I’m a powerful being and co-create my life, and I’ve embraced I’m powerless and God is in charge. Well, which is it?
These days I once again am back to the idea that God has a plan for me and there’s really not much I can do about it. I do not find that aversive because the God of my understanding is total Love, Goodness, Grace, Joy, etc., so Its plan for me can only have such qualities as well. And, this is actually a relief. I can surrender and rest in Spirit’s most loving and competent hands and know that all is well. And, of course, it’s my choice to have an attitude of gratitude even when I can’t see the blessings in the darkness.
Yes, I am powerful, but only because that power comes through from Source. And, Source indeed has a divine plan for me.
Having learned about living in the Now, as I reflect back on my childhood so many years ago, perhaps I was a bit more ‘together’ than I give myself credit for. Just maybe I didn’t make a conscious plan for my life because I was simply living in the present moment, letting my life unfold according to the plan of an Unseen Power. And, my life was exactly how God planned it.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Amazing 20 Years
Today I celebrate the most important day of my life.
It was on Saturday, March 10, 1990, at 10:15am, on the upper side of Manhattan (NYC) that I first walked into the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous (OA), the 12 Step program based on Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). It is there where I found Home, my family of choice, and commenced my conscious spiritual journey. It was the beginning of transforming my entire way of living via changing my world view.
This day 20 years ago was the start of my coming to believe in a God of my understanding. And, having been a ‘devout’ atheist, that was no small feat! After all, I’d known about The Program for five years but had declined attending a meeting because I knew the word “God” was going to be uttered.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into and how much my life was going to change by finally taking that fateful step of going to my first meeting - I actually landed up attending three that very first day!. But I had reached bottom, knew that something was ‘wrong’ with me, and also knew that psychotherapy, while helpful with other issues, was not sufficient to address this issue of my eating disorder.
I am grateful to OA in more ways and for more things than I could ever recount. My life and relationships would not be what they are today if I had not adopted the 12 Step way of life and had a personality shift of huge proportion. Over the years of practicing the principles and relying on a Power greater than myself, my life has become rich in a myriad of ways and my journey of awakening has become more adventurous.
Today I celebrate: having conscious contact with the Great Mystery who I know is my Source; the love of other spirits having a human experience; knowing peace and serenity are mine any time I choose despite what’s going on in the outer world; knowing my life has a purpose and being of service – the list goes on, and on, and on.
It’s an extra special day of grace and blessing! Thanks be to Spirit, and to all of you friends of Bill W. whose paths have crossed mine, where together we are living in the solution. God bless.
It was on Saturday, March 10, 1990, at 10:15am, on the upper side of Manhattan (NYC) that I first walked into the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous (OA), the 12 Step program based on Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). It is there where I found Home, my family of choice, and commenced my conscious spiritual journey. It was the beginning of transforming my entire way of living via changing my world view.
This day 20 years ago was the start of my coming to believe in a God of my understanding. And, having been a ‘devout’ atheist, that was no small feat! After all, I’d known about The Program for five years but had declined attending a meeting because I knew the word “God” was going to be uttered.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into and how much my life was going to change by finally taking that fateful step of going to my first meeting - I actually landed up attending three that very first day!. But I had reached bottom, knew that something was ‘wrong’ with me, and also knew that psychotherapy, while helpful with other issues, was not sufficient to address this issue of my eating disorder.
I am grateful to OA in more ways and for more things than I could ever recount. My life and relationships would not be what they are today if I had not adopted the 12 Step way of life and had a personality shift of huge proportion. Over the years of practicing the principles and relying on a Power greater than myself, my life has become rich in a myriad of ways and my journey of awakening has become more adventurous.
Today I celebrate: having conscious contact with the Great Mystery who I know is my Source; the love of other spirits having a human experience; knowing peace and serenity are mine any time I choose despite what’s going on in the outer world; knowing my life has a purpose and being of service – the list goes on, and on, and on.
It’s an extra special day of grace and blessing! Thanks be to Spirit, and to all of you friends of Bill W. whose paths have crossed mine, where together we are living in the solution. God bless.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Gratitude Circle
I have found my home at the weekly Gratitude Circle at Unity of Sedona I just recently started attending. I’ve been trying to figure out what makes it feel like home because the only other venue I feel this is close to is a 12 Step meeting.
Here’s the bottom line: sharing honestly, from the heart, about Spirit working in our lives as we strive to wake up, in a sacred space of openness and respectfulness of each one’s path.
I’m quite often surrounded by intellectualism and not much expression of experiencing and feeling God’s Grace. Although the vast majority of people in my life are spiritual and on a conscious path, it seems to me we don’t often talk from the heart about our experience. Missing are the tales of synchronicity, miracles, "oh shits" turned into blessings. I could sit around 24/7 listening to people share about this stuff. This was what I was hungering for before I joined 12 Step program almost 20 years ago, and it is what I hunger for still. Connection. To people, to Spirit.
This kind of meaningful, heartfelt talk and sharing of the journey opens me up to God and to the connection between us spiritual beings having this human experience. There’s this heart bond. In 12 Step program our bond is that we share a common malady that is solved by coming to believe in a Power greater than ourselves and then we put our faith and gratitude into service, into action; we are graced even more.
Sitting in a sacred circle of gratitude hearing experience, strength, and hope makes me feel like one heart, like One.
Here’s the bottom line: sharing honestly, from the heart, about Spirit working in our lives as we strive to wake up, in a sacred space of openness and respectfulness of each one’s path.
I’m quite often surrounded by intellectualism and not much expression of experiencing and feeling God’s Grace. Although the vast majority of people in my life are spiritual and on a conscious path, it seems to me we don’t often talk from the heart about our experience. Missing are the tales of synchronicity, miracles, "oh shits" turned into blessings. I could sit around 24/7 listening to people share about this stuff. This was what I was hungering for before I joined 12 Step program almost 20 years ago, and it is what I hunger for still. Connection. To people, to Spirit.
This kind of meaningful, heartfelt talk and sharing of the journey opens me up to God and to the connection between us spiritual beings having this human experience. There’s this heart bond. In 12 Step program our bond is that we share a common malady that is solved by coming to believe in a Power greater than ourselves and then we put our faith and gratitude into service, into action; we are graced even more.
Sitting in a sacred circle of gratitude hearing experience, strength, and hope makes me feel like one heart, like One.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Re-Activated
AC•TI•VATE [ áktə vàyt ] (past and past participle ac•ti•vat•ed, present participle ac•ti•vat•ing, 3rd person present singular ac•ti•vates)
verb
Definition:
1. transitive and intransitive verb make something capable of action: to make something active or operational, or become active or operational
- Any sound in the room will activate the alarm.
- The detonator will activate in 30 seconds.
2. transitive verb U.S. MILITARY mobilize military: to set up or mobilize a military unit
- activate the National Guard
3. transitive verb PHYSICS make something radioactive: to make a substance radioactive
4. transitive verb CHEMISTRY make something reactive: to increase the rate of a chemical reaction, e.g. by applying heat
5. transitive verb CHEMISTRY increase power of absorption of something: to treat a substance such as charcoal so as to increase its capacity for absorption
6. transitive verb INDUSTRY purify sewage with air: to purify sewage by aerating it
RE-
prefix
Definition:
1. again, anew
- rebuild
2. back, backward
- recall
[Via Old French from Latin]
From: http://encarta.msn.com
______________________________
Re-activated... That’s the word that comes to mind when I think of what happened to me about a week ago. And each of the aforementioned definitions of the word activate feels appropriate to me.
As a living, breathing human being on this planet for 54.5 years, of course I’ve been ‘operational’. But for the past several years, operational processes have been sluggish – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I now feel recharged and ready for action and to begin anew.
And, I feel like there’s a purpose to this reactivation, that I’m being mobilized to fulfill the purpose for which I came here to do in service to the planet.
I am radioactive in that I am radiating a different energy, and of course it impacts everything and everyone. It is more positive, joyful, loving, and peaceful. It makes me think of my early days in 12 Step program when I had my spiritual awakening and people would remark that I was glowing.
This change is a reaction caused by stimuli that came into my frame of reference about a week ago. I have an increased power of absorption and I feel more interested, focused, and conscious in my participation in life.
And, I feel purified. The past doesn’t hold much meaning, the future is not yet here - there is only Now. I feel a freshness and a peace - a calmness and serenity that others might think crazy when looking at outer circumstances.
I don’t know if it’s the prayers I’ve been uttering, living in the midst of Sedona vortices for two continuous months, the new energies that came in during a sacred circle I was a part of on New Year’s Eve day, my soul family members being around me more, my intention, or ....
What I do know is that something greater than myself surely had a role in getting this being charged up again, full of power, purpose, and a peace beyond all understanding. I am so very grateful for this reactivation and for once again being enthusiastic (‘with God’) about life.
verb
Definition:
1. transitive and intransitive verb make something capable of action: to make something active or operational, or become active or operational
- Any sound in the room will activate the alarm.
- The detonator will activate in 30 seconds.
2. transitive verb U.S. MILITARY mobilize military: to set up or mobilize a military unit
- activate the National Guard
3. transitive verb PHYSICS make something radioactive: to make a substance radioactive
4. transitive verb CHEMISTRY make something reactive: to increase the rate of a chemical reaction, e.g. by applying heat
5. transitive verb CHEMISTRY increase power of absorption of something: to treat a substance such as charcoal so as to increase its capacity for absorption
6. transitive verb INDUSTRY purify sewage with air: to purify sewage by aerating it
RE-
prefix
Definition:
1. again, anew
- rebuild
2. back, backward
- recall
[Via Old French from Latin]
From: http://encarta.msn.com
______________________________
Re-activated... That’s the word that comes to mind when I think of what happened to me about a week ago. And each of the aforementioned definitions of the word activate feels appropriate to me.
As a living, breathing human being on this planet for 54.5 years, of course I’ve been ‘operational’. But for the past several years, operational processes have been sluggish – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I now feel recharged and ready for action and to begin anew.
And, I feel like there’s a purpose to this reactivation, that I’m being mobilized to fulfill the purpose for which I came here to do in service to the planet.
I am radioactive in that I am radiating a different energy, and of course it impacts everything and everyone. It is more positive, joyful, loving, and peaceful. It makes me think of my early days in 12 Step program when I had my spiritual awakening and people would remark that I was glowing.
This change is a reaction caused by stimuli that came into my frame of reference about a week ago. I have an increased power of absorption and I feel more interested, focused, and conscious in my participation in life.
And, I feel purified. The past doesn’t hold much meaning, the future is not yet here - there is only Now. I feel a freshness and a peace - a calmness and serenity that others might think crazy when looking at outer circumstances.
I don’t know if it’s the prayers I’ve been uttering, living in the midst of Sedona vortices for two continuous months, the new energies that came in during a sacred circle I was a part of on New Year’s Eve day, my soul family members being around me more, my intention, or ....
What I do know is that something greater than myself surely had a role in getting this being charged up again, full of power, purpose, and a peace beyond all understanding. I am so very grateful for this reactivation and for once again being enthusiastic (‘with God’) about life.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Purpose and Service
I’m back once again thinking about my life and what meaning there is in it. I feel that my life only has purpose when I am being of service. When I was very involved in the 12 Step program, I felt that I was of service to others who came after me in pain and in need of healing. Through my own experience, I was able to provide strength and help to others, as those who came before me had helped me. I was able to listen, to love, and to not judge, to accept other folks at the level they were at.
I was reminded today that my experience gives me a purpose in life. With it - hitting bottom and rising up from it - I’ve learned compassion. With that opening of heart, I am able to help others, to serve God.
This world of form is changing mighty quickly these days, making way for a new world, a new way of living. Many people are in pain - and not even aware of it. I am in the ranks of those who are being prepared to help those less aware and enlightened about this world of form and how it fits into our lives, our being. My life experience has paved the way.
My purpose is to help others to realize that regardless of what the material world looks like and offers in terms of ‘toys’, we are eternal spiritual beings, whole and perfect, full of love.
My purpose is to hold the sacred space and help people realize that they are not alone. We are all One, we are all in this together, and all is well.
Dear Spirit -
I offer my love, my compassion, and my peace to You in service.
I was reminded today that my experience gives me a purpose in life. With it - hitting bottom and rising up from it - I’ve learned compassion. With that opening of heart, I am able to help others, to serve God.
This world of form is changing mighty quickly these days, making way for a new world, a new way of living. Many people are in pain - and not even aware of it. I am in the ranks of those who are being prepared to help those less aware and enlightened about this world of form and how it fits into our lives, our being. My life experience has paved the way.
My purpose is to help others to realize that regardless of what the material world looks like and offers in terms of ‘toys’, we are eternal spiritual beings, whole and perfect, full of love.
My purpose is to hold the sacred space and help people realize that they are not alone. We are all One, we are all in this together, and all is well.
Dear Spirit -
I offer my love, my compassion, and my peace to You in service.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Dependence on God
A comprehended God is no God at all. – Gerhard Tersteegen
“Maybe the only thing we know about God is that dependence on this power greater than us brings remarkable changes to our life, and that ultimately those changes are for the best. That may be all we need to know about God.” - In God’s Care, October 31
There is no question that coming to believe and then depending on a Higher Power transformed my life for the better. Not only did I start having more love in my life via the wonderful people I met in 12 Step Program, but my entire perspective about people, the world, and life changed tremendously for the better.
And, it was no small feat to finally get that I was not alone, and that this power greater than myself not only was with me and on my side, but could be a real guide and help in living life peacefully and richly if I allowed It to.
I may not always, in fact often do not, comprehend God and His ways, but I sure am grateful that I “came to believe” and that I cultivate my relationship with this loving, caring, powerful Being on whom I am so dependent on.
“Maybe the only thing we know about God is that dependence on this power greater than us brings remarkable changes to our life, and that ultimately those changes are for the best. That may be all we need to know about God.” - In God’s Care, October 31
There is no question that coming to believe and then depending on a Higher Power transformed my life for the better. Not only did I start having more love in my life via the wonderful people I met in 12 Step Program, but my entire perspective about people, the world, and life changed tremendously for the better.
And, it was no small feat to finally get that I was not alone, and that this power greater than myself not only was with me and on my side, but could be a real guide and help in living life peacefully and richly if I allowed It to.
I may not always, in fact often do not, comprehend God and His ways, but I sure am grateful that I “came to believe” and that I cultivate my relationship with this loving, caring, powerful Being on whom I am so dependent on.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Success
Success has usually been talked about in terms of material wealth.
When I was in the dungeon of despair during my active binging days, material possessions could not bring me peace, love, or joy. When I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, it was even clearer to me that living a successful life could not be defined heavily in terms of the physical world.
These 19+ years later, and especially in the midst of the current economic, political, crazy times, I have no doubt of the meaning of success. A ‘successful’ day is one measured by how loving I’ve been in my interactions, how peaceful I feel within, and how connected I feel to Spirit.
The principles in the 12 Step Program include: honesty, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, brotherly love, perseverance, and service. As I go about the activities of my day and when I reflect back on it when it has ended, I know it’s been a successful one when I have practiced those principles in all of my affairs to the best of my ability, acknowledging God’s Presence throughout it all.
When I was in the dungeon of despair during my active binging days, material possessions could not bring me peace, love, or joy. When I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, it was even clearer to me that living a successful life could not be defined heavily in terms of the physical world.
These 19+ years later, and especially in the midst of the current economic, political, crazy times, I have no doubt of the meaning of success. A ‘successful’ day is one measured by how loving I’ve been in my interactions, how peaceful I feel within, and how connected I feel to Spirit.
The principles in the 12 Step Program include: honesty, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, brotherly love, perseverance, and service. As I go about the activities of my day and when I reflect back on it when it has ended, I know it’s been a successful one when I have practiced those principles in all of my affairs to the best of my ability, acknowledging God’s Presence throughout it all.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Lightening Up
Every other spring or so when I was an adult living in New York, this feeling of wanderlust would come over me. It was this incredible urge to quit or leave everything behind (i.e., the corporate world, whatever possessions didn’t fit into my car), take whatever money I had, and go exploring the country, especially the less-populated areas. A week here, a month or two there, work for a while as a waitress, spend a lot of time reading and relaxing, and have virtually little or no care in the world. A simple life for my spirit that yearned for freedom.
I couldn’t bring myself to go on this wanderlust journey until I joined the 12 Step Program, came to believe in a personal loving, caring God, and had developed more strong, loving, supportive friendships. Then, because I no longer felt alone, I could leave – a paradox for sure! When I swung into high gear to make it happen, it didn’t. God had other plans for me which required me to stay in the Big Apple. “Thy Will, not mine,” prevailed.
Several years later, I relocated from the 8 million population of the “Naked City” to Taos, NM, with a population of 4,000. Living in the Southwest, in an adobe house on a hill overlooking grazing horses with Taos Mountain in view, and in a slower living mode, I felt like this was a version of my wanderlust and I was at peace.
As Rog and I prepare to leave our house and life in Gilbert, AZ for a new start in Sedona/Cottonwood, I feel like we’re going on a working vacation for a month or two (that’s because we might rent a room in someone’s home until we can do something else). But perhaps it’s more like going on my wanderlust again.
You see, we’ve been getting rid of so much ‘stuff’ so that we can avoid large monthly storage fees, simply our lives, and lighten up. It is nice and freeing – it’s amazing what we rarely use (clothes, kitchen things, etc) and how little we need. Our souls feel lighter and more joyful without these attachments, and hence freer. Less baggage (of all kinds), more freedom.
It’s actually not what I was thinking or planning at this point in my life, but I’m most excited. This time around, not only am I not alone because God is with me, but I also have my honeybunch, Rog.
Thank You, Spirit, for the freedom we enjoy through You, the many blessings showered upon us daily, and for moving us forward in Your Plan.
I couldn’t bring myself to go on this wanderlust journey until I joined the 12 Step Program, came to believe in a personal loving, caring God, and had developed more strong, loving, supportive friendships. Then, because I no longer felt alone, I could leave – a paradox for sure! When I swung into high gear to make it happen, it didn’t. God had other plans for me which required me to stay in the Big Apple. “Thy Will, not mine,” prevailed.
Several years later, I relocated from the 8 million population of the “Naked City” to Taos, NM, with a population of 4,000. Living in the Southwest, in an adobe house on a hill overlooking grazing horses with Taos Mountain in view, and in a slower living mode, I felt like this was a version of my wanderlust and I was at peace.
As Rog and I prepare to leave our house and life in Gilbert, AZ for a new start in Sedona/Cottonwood, I feel like we’re going on a working vacation for a month or two (that’s because we might rent a room in someone’s home until we can do something else). But perhaps it’s more like going on my wanderlust again.
You see, we’ve been getting rid of so much ‘stuff’ so that we can avoid large monthly storage fees, simply our lives, and lighten up. It is nice and freeing – it’s amazing what we rarely use (clothes, kitchen things, etc) and how little we need. Our souls feel lighter and more joyful without these attachments, and hence freer. Less baggage (of all kinds), more freedom.
It’s actually not what I was thinking or planning at this point in my life, but I’m most excited. This time around, not only am I not alone because God is with me, but I also have my honeybunch, Rog.
Thank You, Spirit, for the freedom we enjoy through You, the many blessings showered upon us daily, and for moving us forward in Your Plan.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Beyond the World
"Care not what the world thinks, and allow God to protect and nurture you in ways the world cannot comprehend." – The Voice for Love, September 12.
Ah... what a soothing idea.
My ‘handle’ on match.com when I was seeking Roger 5+ years was “Unusual Woman”. Yep, unusual, that’s me. It’s not always an attractive term to others, but thank heaven it was to Rog!
It also means that oftimes I felt like I did not fit in.
I wasn’t comfortable in my family of origin and couldn’t wait to move out on my own. Being an educated woman didn’t always endear me to my lesser-educated male colleagues when I worked at AMTRAK (the railroad), especially when I excelled and became their supervisor. The New York banking world was not a good fit either. Socially, I often felt uncomfortable, not feeling able to connect to people, perhaps because of age, gender, values, whatever.
But of course, the lack of comfort was with myself, not the outer world. Still, to some extent, maverick that I was (not always out of choice it seems), I did care about what others thought of me.
It wasn’t until I joined the 12 Step program of Overeaters Anonymous (OA) that I felt like I fit in. I fit it with others who had eating disorders, understood my crazy behaviors because they’d been there too, and were honestly look for a better way of life. I fit in because there was mutual respect, love, and concern.
I did not fit in initially from the ‘God thing” perspective as I was a devout atheist when I first entered the rooms. That of course changed, and when I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, I started fitting in at other venues too. For now, Spirit was with me, I no longer felt alone. It no longer mattered what others thought of me. It just came down to me and God.
I am glad to be reminded that it does not matter what the world thinks as I march to the tune of a different drum. Spirit is always with me, and there is where I find comfort, love, joy, and peace beyond the world’s understanding.
Ah... what a soothing idea.
My ‘handle’ on match.com when I was seeking Roger 5+ years was “Unusual Woman”. Yep, unusual, that’s me. It’s not always an attractive term to others, but thank heaven it was to Rog!
It also means that oftimes I felt like I did not fit in.
I wasn’t comfortable in my family of origin and couldn’t wait to move out on my own. Being an educated woman didn’t always endear me to my lesser-educated male colleagues when I worked at AMTRAK (the railroad), especially when I excelled and became their supervisor. The New York banking world was not a good fit either. Socially, I often felt uncomfortable, not feeling able to connect to people, perhaps because of age, gender, values, whatever.
But of course, the lack of comfort was with myself, not the outer world. Still, to some extent, maverick that I was (not always out of choice it seems), I did care about what others thought of me.
It wasn’t until I joined the 12 Step program of Overeaters Anonymous (OA) that I felt like I fit in. I fit it with others who had eating disorders, understood my crazy behaviors because they’d been there too, and were honestly look for a better way of life. I fit in because there was mutual respect, love, and concern.
I did not fit in initially from the ‘God thing” perspective as I was a devout atheist when I first entered the rooms. That of course changed, and when I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, I started fitting in at other venues too. For now, Spirit was with me, I no longer felt alone. It no longer mattered what others thought of me. It just came down to me and God.
I am glad to be reminded that it does not matter what the world thinks as I march to the tune of a different drum. Spirit is always with me, and there is where I find comfort, love, joy, and peace beyond the world’s understanding.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Practice
If you’re from the Big Apple, and perhaps even if you’re not, you may be familiar with the joke “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” Answer: “Practice, practice, practice!”
One can apply the same response to “How do I grow in consciousness?” Or, “How can I feel closer to Spirit?” And, how about “How can I be more compassionate?” Answer: “Practice, practice, practice!”
As stated in today’s Daily Inspiration from The Voice for Love: "When gratitude fills your mind, you are joined with God in your awareness. Practice the art of giving thanks, and you will be joined with God all through the day."
And, inspired from today’s Daily Word, when I practice being more loving and gentle with myself, I am more loving and gentle to others.
In 12 Step program it is suggested we “act as if” until we are able to believe. And, if I practice what I want to be, I will succeed. Like Gandhi said, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Practice, practice, practice.
One can apply the same response to “How do I grow in consciousness?” Or, “How can I feel closer to Spirit?” And, how about “How can I be more compassionate?” Answer: “Practice, practice, practice!”
As stated in today’s Daily Inspiration from The Voice for Love: "When gratitude fills your mind, you are joined with God in your awareness. Practice the art of giving thanks, and you will be joined with God all through the day."
And, inspired from today’s Daily Word, when I practice being more loving and gentle with myself, I am more loving and gentle to others.
In 12 Step program it is suggested we “act as if” until we are able to believe. And, if I practice what I want to be, I will succeed. Like Gandhi said, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Practice, practice, practice.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
No Longer Alone
“Once you accept the existence of God – however you define Him, however you explain your relationship to Him – then you are caught forever with His presence in the center of all things.” – Morris West
When I came to believe in God, my entire philosophy about life and people changed (it had too!). From that followed changes in my relationships and the way I lived my life. The transformation was nothing less than phenomenal, miraculous. Not insignificant were feelings that now I was ‘a part of’, that finally I belonged to the human race, and I was no longer alone.
Before, when I was a devout atheist, single, living in the Big Apple, working a corporate job, I felt alone. I felt so alone that I thought I could drop dead and no one would know until perhaps after I hadn’t shown up for work for several days without advance notice. It was a sad and ugly feeling and not the way life is meant to be.
But then – through 12 Step program – I had Spirit in my life and I was no longer alone! It was a joy developing my relationship with Spirit and piecing together a new philosophy of the world and people. It continues to this day.
Since God is in the middle of everything, excitement abounds, possibilities are infinite, joy, love, and peace touch my life most frequently. I never have to go it alone as I seek God’s guidance, put one front in front of the other, trust God, and remain open. Not a small task at times, but it makes for a wondrous way of life.
When I came to believe in God, my entire philosophy about life and people changed (it had too!). From that followed changes in my relationships and the way I lived my life. The transformation was nothing less than phenomenal, miraculous. Not insignificant were feelings that now I was ‘a part of’, that finally I belonged to the human race, and I was no longer alone.
Before, when I was a devout atheist, single, living in the Big Apple, working a corporate job, I felt alone. I felt so alone that I thought I could drop dead and no one would know until perhaps after I hadn’t shown up for work for several days without advance notice. It was a sad and ugly feeling and not the way life is meant to be.
But then – through 12 Step program – I had Spirit in my life and I was no longer alone! It was a joy developing my relationship with Spirit and piecing together a new philosophy of the world and people. It continues to this day.
Since God is in the middle of everything, excitement abounds, possibilities are infinite, joy, love, and peace touch my life most frequently. I never have to go it alone as I seek God’s guidance, put one front in front of the other, trust God, and remain open. Not a small task at times, but it makes for a wondrous way of life.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friendship Anniversary
Today is the 25th anniversary of my friendship with Karen. It was 25 years ago on the very first day of a new job at American Express in New York, that I heard Karen’s laughter ripple across the 18th floor. I’m blessed to have had that joyful laughter in my life all these years since.
We of course have been through a lot and shared a lot. However, one of my most poignant remembrances is how Karen stood by me through my days as a devout, militant atheist. If we somehow dared to get into a discussion on God and religion, I was quite outspoken about my beliefs – it was not a pretty sight. But Karen stood by me. She loved me. She mentioned that she thought “the lady hath protest too much.” She accepted me and respected me.
About 6 years into our friendship I joined OA, and, through the 12 Step program, my entire outlook on God, people, and life was transformed. It’s been quite a journey. And, Karen’s been there all along the way.
I’m blessed and most grateful to have such a person in my life. Thank You, God – and Happy Anniversary to us, Karen!
We of course have been through a lot and shared a lot. However, one of my most poignant remembrances is how Karen stood by me through my days as a devout, militant atheist. If we somehow dared to get into a discussion on God and religion, I was quite outspoken about my beliefs – it was not a pretty sight. But Karen stood by me. She loved me. She mentioned that she thought “the lady hath protest too much.” She accepted me and respected me.
About 6 years into our friendship I joined OA, and, through the 12 Step program, my entire outlook on God, people, and life was transformed. It’s been quite a journey. And, Karen’s been there all along the way.
I’m blessed and most grateful to have such a person in my life. Thank You, God – and Happy Anniversary to us, Karen!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Another Anniversary
Today is a special day for me: the 19th anniversary of stepping into the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous (OA).
March 10, 1990 – the most important day of my life because it was the dawning of my path of coming to believe in Spirit.
In the past, I’ve often said that the only way God was going to get my attention was to hit me over the head with a baseball bat in the form of food. Sounds a bit forceful, but I did reach bottom, so the only way to go was up. I’m so grateful for finally having the willingness to check out the 12 Step program in spite of the ‘G’-word – working it transformed me and hence my future life, and made me a better human being for my fellows.
Since that fateful day, I’ve discovered and explored other paths, some complementary to the 12 Step philosophy, some not so much, but all leading Home just the same.
These days my path is no longer focused on the 12 Steps; still, it is and will always be dear to my heart.
I will be forever grateful to Bill W. and Dr. Bob, the founders of AA, who with Spirit, started it all. And, I’m grateful for all those I’ve met along the 12 Step path, who helped me and vice versa - you are dear to me. It is a way of living and a family like no other I’ve encountered.
We are all so very blessed, one day at a time. And that is surely cause for all of us to celebrate.
March 10, 1990 – the most important day of my life because it was the dawning of my path of coming to believe in Spirit.
In the past, I’ve often said that the only way God was going to get my attention was to hit me over the head with a baseball bat in the form of food. Sounds a bit forceful, but I did reach bottom, so the only way to go was up. I’m so grateful for finally having the willingness to check out the 12 Step program in spite of the ‘G’-word – working it transformed me and hence my future life, and made me a better human being for my fellows.
Since that fateful day, I’ve discovered and explored other paths, some complementary to the 12 Step philosophy, some not so much, but all leading Home just the same.
These days my path is no longer focused on the 12 Steps; still, it is and will always be dear to my heart.
I will be forever grateful to Bill W. and Dr. Bob, the founders of AA, who with Spirit, started it all. And, I’m grateful for all those I’ve met along the 12 Step path, who helped me and vice versa - you are dear to me. It is a way of living and a family like no other I’ve encountered.
We are all so very blessed, one day at a time. And that is surely cause for all of us to celebrate.
Monday, January 26, 2009
My Work of Art
"In a sense, as we are creative beings, our lives become our work of art." – The Artist’s Way (by Julia Cameron, page xvi)
Hmmm. Yes, my life is a work of art. I would characterize it as a colorful work of art. I have led, excuse me – created – an interesting life over the years. Here are some highlights, meaningful, wide brush strokes with many details no doubt accompanying them on the canvas:
. Majored in philosophy and sociology in college
. Worked for a railroad
. Switched career from the transportation industry to the financial one
. Joined a 12 Step program at age 35
. Became greatly involved in volunteer work
. Left corporate world to work on graduate studies full-time
. Earned Master of Social Work degree
. Relocated from NY, my lifelong home town and city of 8 million people, to the 4,000 population southwest town of Taos, NM – solo at the age of 41
. Employed by Native Americans to help their pueblo community
. Launched my own business as The Computer Therapist, combining my geek skills with my therapeutic skills
. Met and married (first time) my twin flame – Rog – at close to 50 years of age
. My three best friends attended our wedding
. Have a dynamic partnership with my husband in our personal relationship, spiritual life, and our business.
But really, how much of my life did I consciously create? It is only since I started waking up spiritually, commencing with joining the 12 Step program, and coming to believe in God, that I feel I was creating what I wanted, no longer drifting aimlessly and without guidance.
My life – my relationships, my work – has been so much richer, so much more creative, since I started waking up and forging a relationship with Spirit. And after all, that’s no surprise since Spirit and creativity are intimately intertwined.
Hmmm. Yes, my life is a work of art. I would characterize it as a colorful work of art. I have led, excuse me – created – an interesting life over the years. Here are some highlights, meaningful, wide brush strokes with many details no doubt accompanying them on the canvas:
. Majored in philosophy and sociology in college
. Worked for a railroad
. Switched career from the transportation industry to the financial one
. Joined a 12 Step program at age 35
. Became greatly involved in volunteer work
. Left corporate world to work on graduate studies full-time
. Earned Master of Social Work degree
. Relocated from NY, my lifelong home town and city of 8 million people, to the 4,000 population southwest town of Taos, NM – solo at the age of 41
. Employed by Native Americans to help their pueblo community
. Launched my own business as The Computer Therapist, combining my geek skills with my therapeutic skills
. Met and married (first time) my twin flame – Rog – at close to 50 years of age
. My three best friends attended our wedding
. Have a dynamic partnership with my husband in our personal relationship, spiritual life, and our business.
But really, how much of my life did I consciously create? It is only since I started waking up spiritually, commencing with joining the 12 Step program, and coming to believe in God, that I feel I was creating what I wanted, no longer drifting aimlessly and without guidance.
My life – my relationships, my work – has been so much richer, so much more creative, since I started waking up and forging a relationship with Spirit. And after all, that’s no surprise since Spirit and creativity are intimately intertwined.
Monday, December 8, 2008
A Change in Soul
According to Emmet Fox, prayer is “...our only means of returning to our communion with God” and “... is the only thing that change’s one character. A change in character, or a change in soul, is a real change.“ (The Sermon on the Mount – The Key to Success in Life, page 41)
This reminds me of the story set forth in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, in which an alcoholic American businessman was told by Dr. Carl Jung that the only possible hope for the man’s recovery was to have a vital spiritual experience. To Jung, “...these occurrences are phenomena. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once guiding forces ... are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate...” (page 27).
With this spiritual experience, we tap into a resource which is something greater than ourselves and experience a profound alteration in how we deal with life. This is certainly how it was for me when I ventured into the 12 Step program many years ago. As I studied and practiced the principles of the program to the best of my ability, over time my soul was changed, awakened – which could only be for the better. It was changed by a Power greater than myself and as I expressed those changes, there was a ripple effect on others. My awakening always affects the world in some way.
So it is with prayer. We cannot pray without making a difference in ourselves to some degree and hence in others.
Any time I pray, it is a spiritual experience, one in which my soul is changed, and to some extent yours too. We are One.
This reminds me of the story set forth in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, in which an alcoholic American businessman was told by Dr. Carl Jung that the only possible hope for the man’s recovery was to have a vital spiritual experience. To Jung, “...these occurrences are phenomena. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once guiding forces ... are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate...” (page 27).
With this spiritual experience, we tap into a resource which is something greater than ourselves and experience a profound alteration in how we deal with life. This is certainly how it was for me when I ventured into the 12 Step program many years ago. As I studied and practiced the principles of the program to the best of my ability, over time my soul was changed, awakened – which could only be for the better. It was changed by a Power greater than myself and as I expressed those changes, there was a ripple effect on others. My awakening always affects the world in some way.
So it is with prayer. We cannot pray without making a difference in ourselves to some degree and hence in others.
Any time I pray, it is a spiritual experience, one in which my soul is changed, and to some extent yours too. We are One.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Prayer
What is prayer? It is a mental process and when I’m in the ‘right’ space it is surely a heartfelt thing.
Years ago when I first joined a 12 Step program, I learned that prayer was talking to God. For me, it is a time like no other in which I am communing with Spirit, just the two of us building our relationship. Sure there are other times when I’m building that relationship, like when I’m being of service helping another person, for surely when two or three of us are gathered in His name, therein is God in the midst of them... But to be alone with God, one on one, is a different encounter, a different experience.
So if prayer includes the aforementioned, then as this morning’s reading pointed out, it’s not a device for getting you what you want. “Prayer is a means of bringing you to the point where you will accept what God wants.” Furthermore,
“You learn to say, “This is what I’d like to have, Lord, if You think it’s all right for me, but if You don’t, then give me what You want me to have or show me what You want me to do.”
– Positive Living Day by Day, Norman Vincent Peale, page 356
I find myself more and more releasing what I think I want, and asking God to show me His will, His way. I am letting go. And, I am gaining more peace, for which I am grateful.
Years ago when I first joined a 12 Step program, I learned that prayer was talking to God. For me, it is a time like no other in which I am communing with Spirit, just the two of us building our relationship. Sure there are other times when I’m building that relationship, like when I’m being of service helping another person, for surely when two or three of us are gathered in His name, therein is God in the midst of them... But to be alone with God, one on one, is a different encounter, a different experience.
So if prayer includes the aforementioned, then as this morning’s reading pointed out, it’s not a device for getting you what you want. “Prayer is a means of bringing you to the point where you will accept what God wants.” Furthermore,
“You learn to say, “This is what I’d like to have, Lord, if You think it’s all right for me, but if You don’t, then give me what You want me to have or show me what You want me to do.”
– Positive Living Day by Day, Norman Vincent Peale, page 356
I find myself more and more releasing what I think I want, and asking God to show me His will, His way. I am letting go. And, I am gaining more peace, for which I am grateful.
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