Loving Me

Dear Spirit of the Most High;

Thank You for the abundance that has come to me each day of this week. I’ve been doing my part to raise my consciousness and to be as loving as best as I can, always striving to be more so. That loving applies to me too – today it meant speaking up for myself. It sure did feel appropriate even if it didn’t feel comfortable. I am getting purer and cleaner in being who I truly am, in being wholly/holy me when with others. I am a child of You, worthy of all good.

Giving and Receiving

Today we received a gift check from an OA ‘family member’ from my Big Apple days to help us move forward in our life. The amount took my breath away, as did the love and generosity it reflected.

Rog said, and I of course concurred, that we look forward to when we can write such checks out again. Individually and as a couple, we’ve been able to do so in the past. We sure know how great it feels to be on both ends, as a giver and a receiver.

These days we have been holding the space open to receiving so that we can make a fresh start in our life. And, we have been manifesting God’s blessings. In the same vein, we open our hearts to give to others in whatever way we can... Right now it may not be in the form of money, but I know that the greatest power and the greatest gift is love. I can offer that always.

This Day

I am plowing through the Energy Grid in partnership with God, angels, and Spirit friends.
Excitement abounds, progress is made, prosperity is being realized.
Oh, what joy - oh, what power in using my God-given creativity and mind.

The Sea of God

I am swimming in the sea of God. That came to me during my morning practice. God is all around me and I am submerged in Godness. As far as the naked eye can see, there is only Godness.

How about I’m ‘treading’ in the sea of God? I’m taking action, doing the work, but staying in one place, getting nowhere.

Well, how about I’m ‘floating’ in the sea of God? I’m letting God carry me. I’ve surrendered and I’m relaxing in peace. In the sea of God. Ah...

The World

I’m one of the most logical people I know. This ability strongly impacted my life and personal relationships – not always for the good – until I joined a 12 Step program, opening the door to a new way of thinking, a new perspective on life. Over the years I’ve striven to use less logic and analysis and operate more from my heart, my intuition.

As amazing as it may sound for a church service, this morning’s message at Unity focused on Quantum Physics. I was really struck by the idea that even though quantum physics is such a part of our daily life and tools, our thinking is still firmly entrenched in Newtonian Physics.

According to Newtonian Physics, the universe is a huge mechanical system of solid objects based on absolute (fixed) time and three dimensional space and as such is linear (uniform). The universe is considered strictly deterministic and causal in nature. From this perspective, everything is perceived as being separate from everything else. Boy, does this explain a lot about today’s society: greed, isolation, ‘dog-eat-dog’ mentality, etc. This outlook cannot promote harmony and peace, that’s for sure!

Quantum Physics deals with the behavior of matter and energy on the minute scale of atoms and subatomic particles. “... you must forget about all logical physical laws, because the laws in the subatomic world are inconceivable for us.” Quantum Physics says that in essence the physical universe is just a myriad of "tendencies to exist" associated with a vast interconnected energy field. In the realm of Quantum Physics, observing something actually influences the physical processes taking place.

As far as I’m concerned, people have never seemed to behave or think very logically. I’m beginning to understand why. This really isn’t a logical, cause-and-effect world. Quantum Physics provides a better explanation of my world. It allows for multiple dimensions, mystery, synchronicity, adventure, and Oneness.

God in a Vacuum

I was at Rog’s mom’s (known as ‘G’) apartment most of yesterday morning as the movers packed up her belongings for the long distance run to Spokane. When I departed there about noon, the movers still at it, I implored her to not hesitate to call if she needed any help whatsoever. She assured me she would, but I had my doubts. G’s the kind of person that says she wants to live close to family in case of an emergency, and then drives herself to the ER without letting anyone know until afterwards!

G also is a very neat and dedicated housekeeper and wanted to leave her apartment in at least as good a condition as when she first moved in and as clean as possible. She called Rog about an hour after my departure, saying that her vacuum cleaner had pooped out when she went to use it in her bedroom. Actually asking for help, Rog went over there with our vacuum. It too did not work in that room - but it worked in all the other ones!

Rog vacuumed the remainder of the apartment while G took a much needed sit down break. He spent two hours there, and thanks to the break, the vacuuming being completed, and visiting with her son, G felt revitalized.

God did for G what she would not have done for herself.

She would never have asked for help for something like bringing her some lunch, but to be able to leave a clean apartment, that’s another matter. By the vacuum cleaner not working, and her thinking the problem was with it (even though she had just used it in another room), G felt compelled to seek help for what appeared to be an apartment cleaning issue. What she truly needed was a personal boost, which she got by Rog arriving on the scene. God so arranged it that something important to G required someone else’s assistance, making G willing to ask for help, and Rog provided that help and much more.

We’ll never know, but I’d bet that if we walked into that bedroom today, we’d find that the electricity worked just fine. And, God would surely be smiling.

Modern Meditation

Many moons ago, the fundamental concerns of human beings were basically food, clothing, and shelter. Not that those were insignificant concerns, but boy, I bet meditation was pretty simple back then!

These days, the mind can wrap itself around many more thoughts to distract us from being peaceful in the silence. Think about it. We have far more things in our lives today that provide perfect detours from getting and staying still.

I need to check my email... the car needs an oil change... we’ve run out of gluten to make bread... the water bill needs to get paid. Or perhaps it’s like this: One-year old Jaynie must get into Yale when she’s 18... First class isn’t available on the flight to Bermuda... My presentation isn’t good enough... people do not understand the importance of bees...

Whatever its flavor, it’s crazy! Quiet, meditation with a blank mind is something I strive for, yearn for.

I pray for the chatter to cease so that I may “be still and know God.”

Endings

Rog’s mom is moving back to Washington State on Saturday. Sometime next month we’ll be leaving the cozy house I’ve called home for the last 5+ years. Tuesday I gave notice to the folks I’ve been doing some volunteer work for. And, tonight I told my yoga teacher that next week would be my last time in class.

Endings.

That’s what life is about: endings – and beginnings. Each carries a gift and paves the way for the next gift, the next adventure.

And, God is with me through it all, moving me forward in my spiritual maturity with love and grace.

Bedtime Prayer

Dear Spirit;

Thank you for this day of abundance and grace. Much was accomplished in peace and joy, and with You in mind. Thank you for my many blessings – I am open to receiving all my good.

I let the day end here, to receive a restful night’s sleep, knowing I am under Your care and protection at all times.

Pearls of Wisdom

The last week has been wild and wonderful, full of God and synchronicity as Rog and I get closer to the trustee sale date of our cozy Gilbert home and seek the next place to hang our hats to be located in the Verde Valley. We’re pretty peaceful as we get guidance, take action, then await results. Still, as we get closer to the wire (mid-May), I sometimes feel a tinge of fear, a fear of the unknown in a particularly serious life situation.

Today I remembered some concepts I first heard years ago in Overeater Anonymous meetings which immediately bolstered my faith, leaving no place for its opposite (fear).

“God hasn’t brought me this far to leave me now.” Oh, yes, yes! How uplifting, how true!

We’re looking to barter our talents and services for rent, not the most conventional situation. Three days ago we thought our next home might be a classroom in a historic elementary school that is to be converted into a country inn. Then it looked like it might be a 900 sq ft funky house, and this morning it looked like it might be a 1200 sq ft cottage and greenhouse on 5 acres near a river. We progressed from one possibility to the next and all are still viable, but we’ve no clear path here yet. And so, as I noticed the progressive order of one housing possibility to the next, I remembered that if one thing doesn’t materialize it means that “God’s got something better in store.”

I have always been grateful for the many pearls of wisdom I’ve heard in OA. I am particularly grateful now to be remembering these to help me as I venture into a new territory of life experience.

Being Blessed

“I’d rather be blessed than be right.” – In God’s Care, April 20

Being blessed is of the heart; being right is of the ego.

The choice is simple for me, but not necessarily easy.

Doors

My friend Mary has an idea of the situation we’re in these days. She sent me a most apropos email. Its content I’ve read before, but like I’ve told her, I’m ‘high spiritual maintenance’ and need to be reminded regularly.

And, so it was with this morning’s email - a reminder, and a comfort. Thanks, Mary!

One Door Closes...Another Opens
When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only 1 of 2 things will happen; either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! The power of one sentence! God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor. God closes doors no man can open and God opens doors no man can close.

Giving

As I go through The Move Project of 2009, it is unlike any other, in terms of the circumstances around it and the current apparent lack of financial resources.

It has forced me to be very creative and open to unlimited possibilities. It has stretched me in my being humble and in my capacity to ask for help. It has me spending more time with Spirit as I ask for guidance, pray, and meditate. The aforementioned are all gifts and blessings, ones which make me feel grateful.

New, like-minded people and opportunities have come into my life, and they too make me feel grateful. I’ve been the recipient of many gifts and kindnesses lately as I have put myself more into the world going about this Move Project.

Today’s reading from the Daily Word strikes me so directly as I sit here at the keyboard in a friend’s home in Verde Valley country, the location of our future hometown. Here it is:

I give, and I am greatly blessed in return.

I may have received help from friends, family, or even strangers at a time I needed assistance. I give thanks that they have been there for me and for others.

I, too, am open to giving to those who need help in everyday and unusual circumstances. Whether someone needs a ride to the doctor, a sitter for a child, or a meal at the end of a pay period, my inner guidance reveals what and how I am to give.

The wondrous, miraculous gift from this experience is that I cannot give without receiving in turn--much more than I have given. As I acknowledge and appreciate the dedication of others to be of service, I myself am encouraged to give. I offer what I have of my time, talents, and skills.

- Daily Word, Saturday, April 18, 2009

Simple But Not Easy

“The Spirit of God sustains and upholds me at all times.” – Daily Word, April 17, 2009

“God is my unfailing supply...” – Florence Scovel Shinn

More and more each day I am realizing how powerful Spirit is and learning that I have great power too.

I need to rely on Source for everything for Source is all there is and everything stems from there. Simple but not always easy.

Grace Blesses

“Wherever I am, God’s grace blesses me.” – Daily Word, April 16, 2009
These days God is gracing me with enthusiasm and wonderful expectancy for our future life. I could be in fear with all the uncertainty - I’m so grateful that I’m not. Instead of powerless (fear), I feel powerful (faith).

God is guiding me and with me all the way. I’m feeling Its Presence and grace more and more, and it’s a blessing.

God Signs

I was surprised Monday night when, at the Gilbert Spirituality meetup, a friend arrived with a gift for me and I in turn had a gift for her.

The gift was the book “When God Winks on New Beginnings: Signposts of Encouragement for Fresh Starts and Second Chances” by Squire Rushnell. Sue knows how important signs or synchronicity is to me for my connection to Source and I was touched by her thoughtfulness.

The timing of this gift is synchronistic for it has meaning to me as Rog and I stay open to what Spirit has in mind for us as we make a big change in moving north.

Rushnell defines “godwink” as “a personal signal or message directly from God, sometimes as an answer to prayer, and often mislabeled as coincidence.” I, for one, do not believe in coincidences.

The day following the meetup, Rog’s friend was guided by Spirit to introduce himself to some friends of friends, who it now seems we were destined to connect with as well. Spirit worked out the schedule so that we could lunch with those folks today on their way through Phoenix. We were comfortable with one another immediately, discovered we have had common experiences, and are very much like-minded in our view of Spirit and what’s going on in the world and on the planet. Total strangers (so it would seem) - instant friends.

I think that all the parties in this story would agree that Spirit was at work and that there is a plan for us. We are being moved along on our path as events flow, and God winks to guide us and encourage us to keep on keeping on in the midst of challenge.

It's About Connection

Late last night Rog and I sent out our e-newsletter Reaching Out, our first issue of the new year. Winter has come and gone, and glorious Spring is here, with Summer almost here in central Arizona.

During the months we dropped off the e-newsletter scene, we retooled our businesses and our lives. As we looked around, we observed that much of what had been working for us was coming to an end. The world doesn't look anything like it did when we created our life together in Gilbert - neither do we.

So as we launched the new us, we wanted to let our community know what’s happening. It’s always fun to send out an e-newsletter. We check who’s opened their email and who’s clicked on links, and we often draw responses from recipients, sending greetings, thanks, and their own news. It’s a day filled with joyful expectancy, each message a gift. It’s a great tool for connecting to a lot of people from all different phases in my life.

Today, as I took note of who opened our e-newsletter, I realized how I’d missed these folks and our cyberspace visits. I’m hoping that we’ll get back on a regular publishing schedule again, for I see how important connection is for me... to people, to nature, to my own self, to Spirit.

All That I Can...

I’ve got my website live, and tweaking and improving it on a regular basis. I’ve placed ads on CraigsList and I’m diligently cruising the ads of people asking for help who are located in all parts of the country. I follow through with contacts on a timely basis. I’m respecting my physical body more. I’m working on keeping my ego mind as quiet as can be and opening my heart increasingly. I’m culling, cleaning up, and organizing my inner and outer worlds. I’ve increased my spiritual practice time. I am preparing the way.

I’m doing all that I can, there’s nothing more to do. Now it’s time to just be.

I wait patiently, with hopeful expectancy and delight, open to God’s care, God’s good, and God’s infinite possibilities.

Out of Dodge

Today is six years that I ‘got out of Dodge.’ Translated that means that I left Santa Fe, New Mexico and moved to the Phoenix Metro area of Arizona. That’s the short story.

The longer version goes like this (there’s also the longest version!). After 7+ years of living in NM and tired of hearing myself complain about not liking living there, I made a significant spiritual shift. Up until that time I had been telling myself the story that I couldn’t make another move because (1) I didn’t have the financial means to do so, and (2) I didn’t want to keep moving around until I found the perfect place. The point is, I was trying to do it all by my lonesome. Finally, I woke up and remembered to ask God for help. Duh. Then I was no longer alone (as if I’d ever really been) and I had the power of God consciously behind me.

And, ask God for help I did. My side of the conversation went like this:

“God, I really need Your help to get out of here. I’ll do anything that is required – even get a job! You know that I’ve said I’d never work for someone else again after being in my own business. Yes, I’ll do even that as I sooo want and need to get out of here. But, YOU have to handle the money!” A bit pushy, huh? But, I was clear, and I was open and willing.

And, I did do everything I could, trusting along the way that God would come through on His end. He did, in a way I could never have imagined (via my dad coming back into my life). It was a wonderful lesson contrasting how my life is when I don’t ask for God’s help and when I do.

Perhaps I wouldn’t have had to stay in ‘Dodge’ for as long as I did if I’d remembered my Source sooner – I don’t know. But there is no question in my mind that when I was ready to ask for help, God was there immediately to listen and help (He’d never left). Fresh from that experience, I said I never wanted to forget that powerful lesson ever, and that’s pretty much been the case.

Now six years have passed living in a place I’ve enjoyed and another move is under way, initiated by the Universe but one I’m looking forward to. I’m glad to have that experience in my memory bank and heart. This move seems even more impossible to work out than that last one. But I know whose team I’m a part of and who is my Source and Helper. As long as I seek God’s guidance, remain open, and willing, I’m confident that God will come through again in such a large matter.

Oh yeah - I didn’t have to go get a job. Spirit arranged it financially that I could continue with my own business when I moved from the Land of Enchantment to the Valley of the Sun!

Trusting in God's Care

One of my readings to contemplate this day is about relying on my Higher Power to take care of me.

God has taken me this far (53+ years in this lifetime regardless if I was a believer or not) and I can decide to trust for that to continue.

Trusting is my choice. If I choose not to, I’ll land up in fear, not a pretty place.

Dear Spirit of the Most High -
I open my heart and mind to Your taking care of me at all times, in all circumstances.

Spring

Spring and rebirth are definitely on my mind today.

I spent quite a bit of time searching for the right photo banner of spring flowers to insert in our upcoming e-newsletter that when I next looked out the dining room window I appreciated the scenery more than usual. My eyes took in the view of our lush palo verde tree, large, delicate pink roses, vibrant violet ruellia, and expansive torch bouganvilla. With birds chirping in the background, my heart swelled. This beauty points to God.

Today, the weather has varied from chilly to warm, calm to windy, sunny to cloudy. Like this spring weather, we feel excitement and expectancy, yet mystery about us.

As Rog and I grow our businesses that allow us to be creative and of service to others, meet like-minded people, prepare for our move north, and appreciate our time together, we follow the guidance of Spirit, not really knowing what will unfold. These are exciting times we are living in and we are up for the adventure!

Spring is my favorite season of the year. It’s about rebirth... possibilities... life... God.

Love and Healing

"There is no difference between love and healing.
They are one and the same.
They are each accomplished by the other in the mind."

- The Voice for Love, April 9, 2009

Signs of Hope

I recently started using Craig’s List as a tool to get clients for my computer-related projects business.

Through me placing an ad under “Services”, I received a call from a woman writer down in Tucson who said in her voicemail that she thought I was exactly the person she’s been searching for. Those words, coupled with her name, Felicity, and her warm, bright energy, made me feel Spirit was very much involved in our connecting. Felicity signs her emails “Love and Light...”

I’ve also used Craig‘s List in the reverse way, i.e., searching for people who have advertised that they’re looking for someone for a particular “Gig.” I started searching in the Phoenix area, and moved to other Arizona area listings. Then I was inspired to check out the Big Apple, my former hometown and “The City That Never Sleeps.” Sure enough, there were plenty of listings there for me to offer my help. I’ve since moved on to Dallas and Chicago as well.

I connected with a NJ company president of an on-line vegan restaurant in need of help with his e-newsletter; Michael signs his emails “Peace Blessings & Joy...” And, I have a telephone appointment scheduled tomorrow with a design magazine firm that donates a portion of its revenue to an organization dedicated to improving poverty through design.

This has been such a wonderfully enriching and eye-opening experience. I am connecting with people throughout the country (and it’s only just begun!) and connection is about Spirit. I cannot realistically think that the type of individuals I’m meeting up with is coincidence - it is synchronicity, the way I came to believe in God. And, these individuals clearly care about other beings and the planet, and have an awareness of Spirit.

It is an honor to meet up with them, and a hopeful sign for the future of the world. People caring, people sharing, people attuned to God. We are One.

My Forever Companion

God was with me at 4:45 this morning when I went through my Kundalini yoga practice.

God was with me as I enjoyed morning coffee with Rog, contacted prospective clients, cleaned bathrooms in a barter deal, and worked on my website.

God was my companion as I folded laundry, responded to emails, and ate my meals.

God has been with me throughout this day, in my activities, in my mind, in my heart. And, God will continue to be as the day turns into evening... and beyond.

God is my strength, my peace, my Source.

Tomorrows

Dear Spirit;

May all the insight that came through to me this special evening be remembered and utilized as I go through life tomorrow... and tomorrow... and tomorrow.

Experiments

Rog’s ‘dowry’ included a bread machine. He kept it idle for a while, then started using it again last fall. I finally got up the courage to learn how to use it a few months ago so I could make breads of the whole grain variety, my preference (I can be pretty picky about some foods).

I usually don’t follow a recipe after the first time. Okay, even then I tend to experiment. Nevertheless, using fine quality ingredients, the bread usually rises well, looks good, and tastes great. However, there are times when the chemistry of the combined ingredients causes my concoction to form something that looks like....well, that doesn’t quite look like a loaf of bread! However, despite its looks, it usually does taste great, which is the most important thing.

Like the bread I concocted yesterday... It never did form into a ball or rise properly. This got me thinking about me and my life.

I’ve not led the life of the average women of my generation, and I’ve not been afraid to experiment and try new ways. Also, I may not always look great and I may not respond wisely in every single situation. But the ingredients inside me are of fine quality: my caring nature, perseverance, joy, laughter, intelligence, honesty, integrity, walking the walk, etc. My ingredients are of fine quality – they are of Spirit. When all is said and done, my light shines. Just like my bread experiments – they delight one’s taste buds.

As for yesterday’s bread... Well, it didn’t rise more than ½ of what it should have, but it turned out super delicious!

Wherever We Go...

“Home is where the heart is...

“The place where we live becomes a home when we fill it with love. We do this by being love that builds up and supports, understands and is compassionate, forgives and accepts forgiveness. We do this and even more as we live from the love of God within our hearts.” - excerpt from Daily Word, April 4, 2009

As we prepare to move north and set up a new home soon (still don’t know where or how yet), I find this writing apropos. It explains why wherever I have made my home, it has always felt “cozy” and full of warmth within its interior walls. It’s because I’ve put my spirit into it – I take myself wherever I go!

This will be the first time Rog and I choose and create a home together from scratch. I know that regardless of the material possessions we furnish it with, our next home will be an even greater welcoming sanctuary full of love than our present one. We take our love wherever we go.

Egos

Yesterday I got irritated with someone I really love and get along tremendously with. It was the same old pattern and I was sick of it.

My peace was disturbed and I wanted it back, so I gave serious consideration around the matter and prayed for God’s guidance.

I got the idea of separating the person from the ego. So I placed the ego aside, and then I felt peace. Once again I felt the love that my own ego had tried to annihilate. Ahhh – what a wonderful feeling!

Also, I realized that whatever I was disturbed about was really about me, not the other person. The pattern was mine to claim and hence mine to change. This is the case always.

When I met with the person again, the energy was back on track to its usual peaceful, loving place. This incident was a tremendous learning for me and one I hope to remember.

Thank You, God, for Your guidance and for my willingness to listen and be open to change.

Rising Energy

During our recent first energy shifting & frequency raising connection meeting, it was suggested to me to start practicing Kundalini yoga to help open blockages within. The suggestion resonated with me because about ten years ago I was given the same guidance. For whatever reasons, I never followed through. In re-listening to the recording of that healing session, I know that this is still sound guidance.

Now I’m ready to follow through on this suggestion. I am so done with repeating the same patterns that do not serve me well. I want to be all that I can be and receive all of God’s blessings. And, my new friend who is experienced in Kundalini, volunteered to guide me in the experience. I’m not passing up this opportunity.

Kundalini is an enormous reserve of untapped potential within each of us. It is normally depicted as a coiled or sleeping serpent, located in an area towards the base of the spine. The benefits of gradually and safely awakening this serpent and employing its power include an elevation in consciousness, promotion of physical well-being, and an expansion of awareness. These benefits sound like they could have a direct positive impact on my life.

I know I’m always connected to Spirit – I cannot not be. But I’ve been missing the feeling that it is so. I’m looking forward to regaining that feeling and am open to learning new spiritual practices that help me move forward on my path.

Raising the Energy

I’m working with a new definition of spirituality: raising the energy of beings I’m with or vice versa. I think the idea is that by raising the energy, higher frequencies are reached, thereby allowing greater access to Spirit.

When my energy is raised, there’s no doubt that I feel more alive and joyful. So, I’m going to continue working with this concept and see where it leads – to an ever-increasing feeling of connection I trust.