Thank You, God!

My prayer today is: Thank You, God! Thank You, God! Thank You, God! I guess it’s an affirmation as well.

I’m grateful that I feel I made some progress in my daily practice of sitting in the Silence, of quieting the mind. I actually was able to focus mainly on my breath for a great portion of the ½ hour. And by focusing on the breath, one can only be in the present moment, in the Now. That is where Consciousness resides, that is where The Presence can be felt. When I did find myself back in the chatter of the little Me, I was inspired to chant Thank You, God! Thank You, God! Thank You, God! and get back to the breath, to the Now.

I’m grateful that I finally got back to my morning stretches. Ever since we moved to Sedona 7+ months ago, those had gone by the wayside. My morning schedule wasn’t so open any more, the floors are Saltillo tile (beautiful - and hard), and I don’t have my own private space where I can stretch to soothing music; challenges no doubt, but not roadblocks if I am willing and open to change. I finally became willing enough.

So this morning I am b-r-e-a-t-h-i-n-g deeply and I am feeling more conscious and more healthy in body, mind, and spirit. It feels great!

Thank You, God! Thank You, God! Thank You, God!

God Provides

Today’s Daily Word begins with “I trust in the presence and power of God to provide whatever I need today.” Further along it continues with ”I anticipate the fulfillment of my needs with eagerness and joy.”

For the 20+ years I’ve been on a conscious spiritual path I have often read and been told by others that Spirit will always provide for my needs. And also, I will receive what I need even though it may not always be what I want.

So I had an epiphany with the aforementioned reading this morning: of course God will provide for my needs, but not necessarily my wants. I surmise this is because wants are of the ego, and Spirit is not looking to strengthen the ego. Spirit and ego don’t mesh - ever hear that ego is an acronym for Easing God Out?

This epiphany strengthens my faith that I am in God’s care. And I may not always like what I get, but I rest assured that I will get what I need - lovingly and with grace and mercy.

Comfort

God does not comfort us to make us comfortable but to make us comforters. - J. H. Jowett

Through my reaching bottom with my eating disorder and then recovering by developing a conscious relationship with the God of my understanding and practicing the 12 Step principles, I came to recognize my life had purpose.

Through my experiences of spiraling downward and then reclaiming myself and my life, I was and am, able to help others on their journey. Through sharing my experience, strength, and hope, I am a comforter.

Just as Spirit comforted me and let me know I was not alone, so too I comfort others and let them know they are never alone. As my soul continues to blossom and wake up, I carry the message that with God all things are possible and heaven is within us, here, right now.

Membership

Recently a fellow Mystic Choir member asked me why I was becoming a member of Unity of Sedona. You see, she’d contemplated becoming one but was a bit skittish. As was I.

I’d been a devout atheist for many years, and even after 20 years on a conscious spiritual path, I still had my issues around the word church. I associate church with organized religion, which at least these days I can kindly say that I am able to see how it is helpful for some folks. If I could get over being an atheist, surely I could get over my conception of church. I could no longer allow my mindset to keep me from my greater good.

Unity.org states:
“The five basic ideas that make up the Unity belief system are: 1) God is the source and creator of all. There is no other enduring power. God is good and present everywhere. 2) We are spiritual beings, created in God's image. The spirit of God lives within each person; therefore, all people are inherently good. 3) We create our life experiences through our way of thinking. 4) There is power in affirmative prayer, which we believe increases our connection to God. 5) Knowledge of these spiritual principles is not enough. We must live them.” Sounds pretty painless! Well, actually these are ideas that I very much resonate with and believe in.

Unity is a vehicle for instruction, inspiration, and prayer support for spiritual seekers. It is a place of education. Unity of Sedona specifically is where my spirit gets nourished and soars, whether singing with the choir or opening my heart at a gratitude meeting. It’s a place where I can be of service in a myriad of ways. It’s a place where I feel comfortable spreading my wings trying out new things. It is a place of learning and love where awakening happens.

Why become a member when I already can participate in everything, except having a say with a vote on organizational decisions? Becoming a member, I feel ‘more a part of’, which is important to the little girl inside who always felt different, starting first with her family of origin. Outside of my 12 Step family (which is huge), I have never so felt a part of a group of people (it has not been for lack of searching). Becoming a member means I’m making a commitment to something I believe in and am willing to stand up for it. This is “my place” and I want to care for it; I want to support it. This community is my family and I want to protect it, strengthen it, nurture it. I feel as a member I can give with more of a whole heart.

As my family at Unity of Sedona helps me flourish and wake up, together we all awaken to a world of peace, love, and joy.

God Break

As I move from eating lunch and washing dishes to working on e-newsletters, I pause to take a God break.

Now, “break” is not the exact word I’d like to use as it implies a split, and I don’t ever want to feel separate from Spirit. But the truth of the matter is my mind is not always staid on Thee. So when I wake up and remember God consciously, I am grateful.

I take this time to breathe deeply, for it is God who breathes me, a wonderful remembrance. And, I thank God for the many blessings in my life. Finally, (it’s never ‘final’) I ask Spirit in prayer that I be energized, creative, and full of joy and peace as I go about the rest of my afternoon and evening. May Its Light shine through me and my work.

Ahhh. Now onward and upward.

Looking for Love

Today my attention was brought to the metaphysical meaning of the word adulteress: looking for love in all the wrong places. Boy, does that resonant with me! And, I’d say that everyone I know at some time in their life has looked for love in the wrong places. Many, many people continue to do so.

It can take the form of alcoholism, co-dependency, obsession with money, expecting relationships to complete oneself... the list goes on and on and on.

Not knowing I was seeking God, where I looked for love included: food, work, reading, and romance.

I’d say we’ve all been adulterers or adulteresses more than once in this lifetime. But with great mercy and compassion we are urged to move forward and err no more. For after all, if I’m seeking Truth, what other guidance is there?

Today I am so much more conscious of my thoughts and behaviors - and my heart center. I endeavor to follow the words of Emmet Fox and many others: “We must not allow any consideration whatever, any institution, or organization, or any book, or any man or woman, to come between us and our direct seeking for God.” - The Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox, Page 136.

So in my ever expanding awakening, I find myself no longer looking for love in all the wrong places. I just look at me inside and there I find God.

Icing on the Cake

My life is rich. It didn’t take much to get it that way. I just needed to come back to me and to recommit to my #1 relationship – you know, the one with Spirit.

Now my heart is full. I’m enrolled in a spiritual psychology class, which being experiential allows me to get to know these other souls traveling on this particular path, and they me. I’m singing in a choir in which all members are walking a conscious spiritual path and actively engaged in the awakening process. I participate in a weekly circle of gratitude, where we each share from the heart and to the heart. I’m giving service to an organization that nourishes my soul.

My life is rich again because I am back in a heartfelt spiritual community. God’s presence is evident and It nourishes me.

And as I attend meetings, workshops, and events, getting to know the loving people God is putting on my path, I feel like I did when my life was rich as a single woman. In those days, I was extremely busy in my service work and spent more time alone with God than I have in recent years.

Things changed, and I moved from being single to being married – yes, after 49+ years on the planet this go around, I met my life partner 5+ years ago. I’ve had to learn to balance the three most important relationships in my life and it’s only recently that I kind of ‘got it.’

My life is rich with these relationships flourishing: Me and me, me and God, me and my husband. And, being part of a spiritual community brings these all together to make a most joyful, loving, meaningful life.

I recently wrote (blog of 03.11.10) “We are each individuals and the work we do to awaken to God’s grace is truly an inside job. Only I can do it for me, and having a loving partner along the way is icing on the cake. But I must remember that God is the cake and has to get baked first.”

On this day of my gratitude circle, I am grateful for this rich life which now includes the icing on the cake – my beloved Rog.

Amazing 20 Years

Today I celebrate the most important day of my life.

It was on Saturday, March 10, 1990, at 10:15am, on the upper side of Manhattan (NYC) that I first walked into the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous (OA), the 12 Step program based on Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). It is there where I found Home, my family of choice, and commenced my conscious spiritual journey. It was the beginning of transforming my entire way of living via changing my world view.

This day 20 years ago was the start of my coming to believe in a God of my understanding. And, having been a ‘devout’ atheist, that was no small feat! After all, I’d known about The Program for five years but had declined attending a meeting because I knew the word “God” was going to be uttered.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into and how much my life was going to change by finally taking that fateful step of going to my first meeting - I actually landed up attending three that very first day!. But I had reached bottom, knew that something was ‘wrong’ with me, and also knew that psychotherapy, while helpful with other issues, was not sufficient to address this issue of my eating disorder.

I am grateful to OA in more ways and for more things than I could ever recount. My life and relationships would not be what they are today if I had not adopted the 12 Step way of life and had a personality shift of huge proportion. Over the years of practicing the principles and relying on a Power greater than myself, my life has become rich in a myriad of ways and my journey of awakening has become more adventurous.

Today I celebrate: having conscious contact with the Great Mystery who I know is my Source; the love of other spirits having a human experience; knowing peace and serenity are mine any time I choose despite what’s going on in the outer world; knowing my life has a purpose and being of service – the list goes on, and on, and on.

It’s an extra special day of grace and blessing! Thanks be to Spirit, and to all of you friends of Bill W. whose paths have crossed mine, where together we are living in the solution. God bless.

An Attitude of Gratitude

“...we can shape our attitude moment by moment. Accepting responsibility for this is a major step in our recovery.

“I will be aware of the thoughts and feelings that shape my words and actions today, and strive to promote joy and gratitude.” – In God’s Care, February 28, 2010

I find it so powerful focusing on that which I am grateful for. It easily and quickly connects me consciously with Source and opens my heart to self and others. It places me in a state of grace, receiving all the good gifts I can enjoy freely in life (of which there are so many), with life itself as the fundamental gift.

It seems that grace and gratitude work in concert with one another: as I feel gratitude, more grace comes to me. And once again in that grace, I feel so connected to Spirit, with much gratitude in my heart.

Thank You, God, for an attitude of gratitude and Your unending grace.

The Breath

A client came into the office early yesterday morning already experiencing a rough day and acting a bit snarly. I suggested she take a deep breath. I’m not sure she did, but as I made the suggestion, I noticed I did! Instantly, I felt myself relax and feel more balanced.

When the ego is running around in the cage of my head, especially when I’m (meditating), focusing on my breath is a sure way for me to get centered. It sure feels great!

I take a deep, conscious breathe to relax, focus, stay in the Now, and thereby connect with Spirit. There is no limit to how often and how long I do this. The more, the better I’m sure my mental, emotional, spiritual, and even my physical body would agree.

A warm cup of chamomile tea: $2.49 - A deep breath: priceless!

Watering My Soul

Scott Walker tells the story of purchasing his favorite flowering plant, the hibiscus. He bought it during the summer, placed it on his patio, and without any effort on his part, it was nurtured by rain and his sprinkler system. It grew rapidly, and was lush with rich green leaves and bright trumpet blossoms.

Brought into his sunny breakfast room to protect it from the cold in the winter, the hibiscus was not automatically water. Scott forgot to water it and soon the hibiscus wilted, its leaves yellowed, and it was falling to the floor. He was ready to toss it into the garbage can, but as he passed the kitchen sink, he decided to try watering the hibiscus to give it one last chance. Soon the water brought the plant back to a flourishing life.

Scott recounts “This morning, as I sat at the breakfast table and looked at the hibiscus, it occurred to me that when I haven’t attended to my spiritual life, it begins to wilt and wither, and only prayer can bring back its vitality and rekindle its hope. If, in the midst of winter, I’ve allowed the frost to touch my soul, I cannot wait one more day to water it with prayer.”

How true Scott’s lesson is. I must nourish and tend to my soul regularly. It takes conscious effort on my part - it cannot be automatically fed and no one else can do it. When I take time to nurture my spirit through practice of prayer, meditation, reading, and helping others, I thrive and my life gets better and better.

On the Path

“Lord, light my way along Your path so that all I do leads me toward the destination You have in mind.” - Daily Guideposts Prayer, January 27, 2010

Lighting the way along my path, Spirit has provided me with wonderful teachers. They come in many forms, with some that unfold as a challenge and many others as love. All are blessings in my life to grow me spiritually, to wake me up.

Yesterday I started working with a new one in a very conscious, intentional way. I’m helping BK design and build her website, and she is helping me heal, open my heart, and get clear about what I came here to do. It is a wonderful, rich exchange of energy. And while I look forward to discovering what God’s destination is for me, I am so enjoying and grateful for this light along the journey in the form of BK.

Thank You, Spirit, for the wonderful blessings in my life of people, places, and things. Thank You for the light you shine along my way in my journey of growing closer to You - and me.

Ways to Understand

“Fear of the unknown is natural, but it lessens as we mature in our spiritual life. “- In God’s Care, January 27, 2010

Since I ‘came to believe’ almost 20 years ago, I no longer feel that awful ache inside that I am alone - God is always with me. Where there is faith, fear cannot dwell. As I mature in my faith and spirituality, fear lessens.

I’ve learned too that there are many other entities with me as well. There is so very much going on in the unseen world, there are so many beings only too glad to help with me with living life and my spiritual growth.

I know quite a few people who are able to hear the messages from God and their other unseen friends and who are able to easily communicate back and forth, piercing the veil. I envy them - I just seem so blocked in being able to hear their guidance despite my yearning to be in conscious contact with them.

So I have developed the practice of greeting them in the morning, and saying goodnight to them when my head hits the pillow at the end of the day (and “acting as if” as much as possible). I have been praying to them - and Spirit - to release any blockages I might have and to provide a clear channel for me to hear them. The issue lays with me, not them.

Last night at the Unity of Sedona Mystic Choir’s rehearsal, we practiced a number of songs by Rickie Byars Beckwith. This morning during meditation I realized that Spirit had provided me with better languaging in my search to more readily ‘hear the voices’ of It and my angels, guides, etc.

“How can I serve today, sweet Spirit?
How can I serve, oh Lord?
Speak in ways that I will understand
Where You lead me, I will follow
Where You lead me, I will go.”
- Lyrics by Rickie Byars Beckwith

Thank You, Spirit! Thanks to all of my other unseen friends!

Children in the Now

At this ripe age of 54 I have observed far too many broken relationships between parents and their adult children. This seems to be the situation even in the case of family members who were close in the growing up years. And, it goes either way: the parent has chosen to distance themselves, or the child.

I observed this fissure recently in the case of a family that, more than any other, I’m quite familiar with. Taking the view of a parent, it made me wonder what was really the point of having children (from the individual’s, not the human race, point of view).

This is not the first time I’ve pondered this question. In fact, I decided at the ripe ‘ol age of 16 that I did not want to have children. Consciously, my reason was so that I could do what I wanted unencumbered, you know, travel, build a career, etc. But I fully admit that there probably were some unconscious reasons too, although I think that matters not. At this age I can honestly say that I have never for one second regretted my decision. And that decision, I might add, was not always one met with support by others, be they relatives or my personal physician; I had to fight for my choice.

That said, it seems to me that if you have and raise children with the idea that at some future time you will receive satisfaction, you will get your reward, something is off kilter. ... Perhaps your daughter will become the singer you had hoped to be and you’ll feel your dream is fulfilled, or maybe your idea is that you’ll have someone to take care of you when you’re elderly. I think not.

Like anything else, we must stay in the Now. That is where the joy is. That is where God is. We do not know what the future will bring and making plans (giving God a good laugh) for when you’ll really enjoy your children down the road, is fairly certain to bring dismay – like any expectation. And, there are no guarantees as to the relationship you’ll have with one another later in life even if you enjoyed closeness in the earlier years.

Maybe I was somewhat more awake than my peers or maybe my dysfunctional family dynamics seeped into my unconscious quickly so that my decision to remain childless took hold at any early age. But now when waking up is even more important for the planet and happening at lightening speed to those who want it, staying in the Now is even more crucial.

And this pertains to choosing consciously to have and raise children, being in joy in the Now as together you go through their life stages. The ‘payoff’ has to be in the Now. That’s a win-win for all.

Appreciation

I don’t know if it was the serious situation of friends dealing with the possible devastation to come because of the forecast of extreme local flooding, or what the Haitian people are going through, but a wave of appreciation swept through me yesterday - appreciation for Roger.

Now, I regularly tell Rog I love him and am grateful for him and his being in my life. But appreciation feels different and, in hindsight, it seems that I don’t seem to verbally express that to Rog very often.

So what’s the difference between gratitude and appreciation?

Encarta states that gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness to somebody and comes from the Latin gratitudo which means "pleasing." The Hebrew term for gratitude is hikarat hatov, which means, literally, "recognizing the good." (http://www.aish.com/sp/pg/48906987.html). The latter definition resonates with me for my spiritual practice includes making gratitude my usual state of mind and a way of life.

Appreciation is defined as “a full understanding of the meaning and importance of something” (Encarta) and “sensitive awareness” (Merriam-Webster).

In an instant and without mindful analysis, yesterday’s appreciation wave imparted to me a full understanding of what Rog means to me at a conscious level and deeper. Wow!

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - John F. Kennedy

Walking a Spiritual Path

I’ve met a lot of couples lately, and it’s interesting for me to observe what their relationship is like.

Is it about having a warm body in bed at night, someone to share household responsibilities and finances with, to have someone take care of the other? Or is it a real partnership in which the team members help one another not only in managing every day responsibilities and activities, but to help them evolve their souls, to support them in their waking up? Can I feel the love and joy energy between them or does it feel like they’re just making do with things?

Without a spiritual compass it seems impossible – not to mention extremely painful and depressing – to be in an intimate committed relationship. What is apparent to me now more than ever is that my partner is my best teacher on my path to full awakening, wholeness, and healing. Yet, without each of us having a spiritual foundation for providing guidance, strength, and love, it can not be so.

It seems to me a waste that others do not glean learning from their close relationships. Some actually carry resentments and blame forward into the future even when the relationship has long been dissolved.

My spiritual foundation was built primarily on 12 Step principles and secondarily on A Course in Miracles (ACIM) after adhering to an atheist viewpoint for many years prior to that. In the 20 years since, I’ve incorporated other spiritual traditions’ ideas into my belief system. Of course I’ve found that there is no competition in spirituality and in fact much commonality of principles (boy, what a relief that is in this usual world of duality). Rog’s spiritual foundation was built early in his life on Jesus’ teachings from his religious upbringing and continued with ACIM. We’re pretty close in our beliefs and we both consciously endeavor to practice them in our daily lives.

When Rog and I get into a ‘challenging’ discussion, we each seek to listen without ego to the other, to be honest and respectful of self and other. We strive for clear communication with love. We make amends when we have erred and we forgive one another and/or ourselves when needed. We are open to being both student and teacher.

When we married almost five years ago, we each promised to the other “... to do my best to always see the Light in you. I promise to do my best to be your perfect shelter, where you can be reborn in safety and in peace." Keeping these promises has allowed us to wake up more and more, and to enjoy greater freedom.

In this crazy, changing world thanks to my Higher Power and my life partner, I am not just ‘getting by’, but I am evolving and waking up. I am so very grateful.

Vibration

“If you're not thinking about a negative thought, your vibration is going to raise to its natural positive place.”
- Abraham (Excerpted from the Virginia Beach, VA workshop 4/11/98 #317)

It is always refreshing to read Abraham. Unlike the world of form around me, Abraham speaks to who we truly are: loving, powerful, creative, spiritual beings. In the material world, there is duality, ego, fear – basically a lot of negativity.

It can be easy to slip into the lower vibrations but I strengthen my ‘spiritual muscles’ regularly and hence lessen the chances of moving downward in vibration. My daily spiritual practices improve my ability to feel God’s Presence wherever I am, whatever activity I am engaged in. I strive to surround myself with people walking a conscious spiritual path and attend gatherings where the Truth is discussed and my growth in understanding it is promoted.

With my focus on Spirit, my vibration rises to its natural level where I feel joy, peace, and love.

I Am Responsible

“What anyone else has or does not have has nothing to do with you. The only thing that affects your experience is the way you utilize the Non-Physical Energy with your thought. Your abundance or lack of it in your experience has nothing to do with what anybody else is doing or having. It has only to do with your perspective. It has only to do with your offering of thought. If you want your fortunes to shift, you have to begin telling a different story.” – Abraham, Excerpted from the book Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness #313

The messages are all around me and consistent: My experience depends only on me.

My life has been a pretty good one. It may not be viewed as ‘successful’ by others, but to me it has been a good one. This despite not having been given much guidance, set many goals, or been very conscious in my first three decades. Now, with the spiritual knowledge and experience I have, I can just imagine how wonderful it can really be...

Guided by Spirit, knowing that I am responsible for my world, and enthusiastic about life, I create a fulfilling life, nurturing my soul, releasing blocks of all kinds, and serving God in joy, and love, and peace.

Re-Activated

AC•TI•VATE [ áktə vàyt ] (past and past participle ac•ti•vat•ed, present participle ac•ti•vat•ing, 3rd person present singular ac•ti•vates)

verb

Definition:

1. transitive and intransitive verb make something capable of action: to make something active or operational, or become active or operational
- Any sound in the room will activate the alarm.
- The detonator will activate in 30 seconds.
2. transitive verb U.S. MILITARY mobilize military: to set up or mobilize a military unit
- activate the National Guard
3. transitive verb PHYSICS make something radioactive: to make a substance radioactive
4. transitive verb CHEMISTRY make something reactive: to increase the rate of a chemical reaction, e.g. by applying heat
5. transitive verb CHEMISTRY increase power of absorption of something: to treat a substance such as charcoal so as to increase its capacity for absorption
6. transitive verb INDUSTRY purify sewage with air: to purify sewage by aerating it

RE-

prefix

Definition:

1. again, anew
- rebuild
2. back, backward
- recall

[Via Old French from Latin]

From: http://encarta.msn.com
______________________________

Re-activated... That’s the word that comes to mind when I think of what happened to me about a week ago. And each of the aforementioned definitions of the word activate feels appropriate to me.

As a living, breathing human being on this planet for 54.5 years, of course I’ve been ‘operational’. But for the past several years, operational processes have been sluggish – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I now feel recharged and ready for action and to begin anew.

And, I feel like there’s a purpose to this reactivation, that I’m being mobilized to fulfill the purpose for which I came here to do in service to the planet.

I am radioactive in that I am radiating a different energy, and of course it impacts everything and everyone. It is more positive, joyful, loving, and peaceful. It makes me think of my early days in 12 Step program when I had my spiritual awakening and people would remark that I was glowing.

This change is a reaction caused by stimuli that came into my frame of reference about a week ago. I have an increased power of absorption and I feel more interested, focused, and conscious in my participation in life.

And, I feel purified. The past doesn’t hold much meaning, the future is not yet here - there is only Now. I feel a freshness and a peace - a calmness and serenity that others might think crazy when looking at outer circumstances.

I don’t know if it’s the prayers I’ve been uttering, living in the midst of Sedona vortices for two continuous months, the new energies that came in during a sacred circle I was a part of on New Year’s Eve day, my soul family members being around me more, my intention, or ....

What I do know is that something greater than myself surely had a role in getting this being charged up again, full of power, purpose, and a peace beyond all understanding. I am so very grateful for this reactivation and for once again being enthusiastic (‘with God’) about life.

Communication

Just like a dear friend who lives thousands of miles and multiple time zones away, but with whom I can communicate by phone, email, or instant messaging, God is accessible. Even more so.

God is just a breath away, a thought away, a prayer away. Just thinking of God puts the Great Mystery right there in my conscious presence.

Modern communications systems are great, but God’s ancient way of communicating is at least as good.

Dear Spirit of the Most High -
Thank You for Your Presence any time I choose to have You near.