Sunshine

This afternoon Rog and I are marrying a young college couple who are eloping (although their parents know) and want to exchange vows in Sedona before the semester ends and they transfer down to Arizona State University in Phoenix.

We are one of the few husband and wife teams of non-denominational ordained ministers. Together we serve as celebrants and marry folks couple-to-couple; we think there’s something very special about that. We bring our joy, love, and memories of our own wedding when we serve as the celebrants for a couple’s special day.

We always enjoy and have fun getting to know a couple and helping them clarify and write their promises to one another. There’s also a myriad of other items on the list that we can often help with in order to have the wedding day flow with ease and grace. We feel that we are truly of service as the couple embarks on this new adventure in life as husband and wife.

Of course, the idea for today’s ceremony was to be outdoors and view the magnificent vistas of Red Rock Country. Thing is, although it’s just about May, the weather has been rainy, cloudy, windy, with temps in the 50’s - brrrrr! And the same is forecasted for today - not quite what we were hoping for on this special occasion.

But I know I can pray for sunshine to prevail... After all, it’s only for about a half-hour; surely Spirit can manage that, yes?

More importantly, I know that the Sunlight of the Spirit will be with us regardless of what is going on in the external world of form. God warms our souls all the time with Its love, peace, and joy.

So as we celebrate a young couple's union into a formal holy relationship, we also celebrate God. We express gratitude for all the abundance and blessings in our lives, for the sunshine that shows up in a variety of ways.

Whose Plan?

I’ve been pushing myself to meet deadlines, participate in spiritually-focused events, attend to ADL’s (activities of daily living), and fulfill other commitments. And, I’m beat. It’s not really fun pushing, pushing, pushing. I just can’t do it all... something has to give... I need to let go.

Yes, I’m exhausted physically, and beat emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I need to let go of controlling finances, time, people... As if I could really control anything or anyone!

So I surrender to that Divine Wisdom that knows all is in perfect order... to the Source that created me happy, joyous, and free - not tied to deadlines and obligations.

In cramming and striving to meet deadlines, I’m cramming The Presence too. It’s difficult to feel peace and joy when my entire being feels contracted and squished. So I pause, breathe, and give my trust to Spirit. I release my concerns to God and I am at peace.

All I have is this moment... Despite my planning and scheduling, when it comes down to it, all I have is Now. I can sketch in the pieces of my life, but I must remain flexible and open to the idea that things don’t unfold in Joyce’s time. I must surrender.

Dear Beloved, Holy Presence-
Thank You, thank You, thank You for the pause and the breath that refresh me to then move on to carry out Your plan.

Where Am I?

My readings this morning remind me of several fundamentals...

God is always with me, always guiding me. No matter the situation, there is a choice that reveals the highest and best in me. If I listen, Spirit’s guidance will be made known.

There are many ways for the guidance to come through: lyrics from a song, conversation with a person, or an excerpt from something I’m reading. Of course, there’s the powerful inner knowing that needs no explanation. And, my favorite: Synchronicity, the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. [Translation: There is no such things as coincidence.]

And, if I don’t hear the Guidance or I misinterpret it, and I do not make the choice that brings out the highest and best in me, that means I’ve lost conscious contact with Spirit. But it doesn’t mean that God is not with me.

Then I remember to take an inventory, to look at my thoughts and behaviors that have contributed to my not choosing rightly. I connect with God to reveal my shortcomings, and I then I choose once again.

God’s love, patience, wisdom, and peace are always, always, with me. I remain alert and ready, prepared to receive God’s guidance and God’s abundance. It’s always there - where am I?

God Is...

God is...

Love
Joy
Peace
Strength
Power
Breath
Source
Life
Grace
Gratitude
Guide
Friend
Companion
Comfort
Healer
Consciousness
Presence
Serenity
Security

No matter where my journey takes me, I am not alone - God is.

Service

There are many reasons and motives for doing service. But are mine ‘pure?’ What I mean is, am I doing them from my Higher Self or from my ego self?

When I serve to feel needed, I’m coming from my little me. When I look at the person I’m helping as a victim or someone I’m trying to ‘save,’ I’m coming from the separated self. I am not in an awaken state.

Being of service directly working with people is one of the grandest ways that I feel God’s presence and a strong connection. I am in my heart, opening to God’s love and grace - for me and the other.

So, I serve as a way to grow closer to God. And through helping others with this motive in mind, I open myself up to be an instrument of God’s grace and to waking up a bit more to the real world of Love.

How can I serve today, Sweet Spirit
How can I serve today, Oh Lord
Speak to me in ways I will understand
Where You lead, I will follow.
- Rickie Byars Beckwith

Dear Sweet Spirit,
Speak to me in words I understand as to where You would have me serve today. Open my heart as I have the opportunity to be Your instrument and shine Your light on all whom I minister to today.

I Need Do Nothing

Yesterday a stranger started a conversation with Rog when he thought that Rog was carrying a bible. I get tickled pink when people are open to connecting - you never know where that holy instant can lead to.

In this case, it led to a number of lessons for Rog and me. This man’s apparent friendliness, apparent openness was his segue into evangelizing about his religion. His apparent interest in Rog’s beliefs was feigned, as he questioned Rog but then glanced at the newspaper. Grilling Rog, quoting scripture left and right with an attitude of righteousness, this man had an agenda to ‘save’ us.

It is a contradiction to me that someone who espouses Jesus as their savior in the same breath does not respect my belief, but points the finger, tells me I’m wrong, and holds an attitude as ‘less than’ towards me. It’s clear that they really don’t get what the real deal is. This is how wars get started. This is operating from ego, not God.

I do not have to agree with you, but I need to respect you. We are all God’s children, all equal. If I am truly an emissary of God, I extend love, acceptance, and peace. The reminder and lesson (again) was that I also respect myself by not participating in other’s agendas. I think it is worthwhile to know where I stand on issues and to clarify my beliefs. But I’m not obligated to share those when asked, especially by a hostile, close-minded party. I have to keep my boundaries.

Today’s Daily Word is Grace. It is a good reminder that I do not need to be saved, I am already perfect and loved the way I am and there is nothing I need to do to earn God’s love.

“As a child I may have learned that I must earn all good things in life. In school, awards are handed out for special achievement; at work, promotions are given to high achievers. I may also have believed that God, too, rewards only those who make an extra effort.

“Grace teaches me that I am loved right where I am, regardless of what I have or have not done. I do not have to earn God's love. I do not have to achieve a certain status or reach a certain milestone to be loved. Right where I am, God loves me.”

Bless those who cross my path to remind me of my true God nature - even when unintended by them.

Seeing

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” - John Lubbock

I have a client with whom I work with 20 hours per week, so I’m familiar with the look of her office. One day she asked for my interior decorating advice regarding an oval area rug she planned to buy for a main walk-through section of the office. Armed with samples, we discussed which color scheme would best work with the current carpet, and I also brought up my concern about how the thickness of the rug might be a tripping hazard. Then she proceeded to order her choice online, and that’s the last I thought of it.

The following week I was in my client’s office and it wasn’t until I’d walked through the main area three times that I realized the area rug had been delivered and placed on the carpet! I simply hadn’t seen it and I certainly hadn’t tripped over it.

It’s pretty phenomenal to me that something can be right in my face and I don’t see it. Have you ever looked all over the house for your keys (substitute anything else), only to find them on the kitchen counter next to the coffee mug you’d just been drinking out of?

It sure makes me wonder what else I’m not seeing, minor things and the not-so-minor. And then there’s the idea that this world is an illusion and I’m making it up anyway... so why can’t I ‘make up’ the keys, the cash, the love, the faith, etc.?

If I can’t see what is theoretically on the physical plane and I believe should be easy to see, then how can I ‘see’ what is in the other realms? And, if I’m making it all up anyway, why aren’t I making up and communicating with the unseen spiritual beings whom I’ve been yearning to communicate with?

Intention. Yes, again, I go about setting intentions and being awake. With faithful expectancy and joy, I see what I am looking for, I live the life and experience the abundance that is mine by Divine Right. I stay alert to my good and to God’s Grace.

Every Day...

I arise every morning at 5 AM. As we move closer to the summer solstice, each day the sun rises earlier and gradually more light greets me at that time. Every morning is lighter and lighter.

But today it seemed to be much lighter than just yesterday. Still, what matters to me is that every day is longer and brighter than the one before regardless of the interval between them.

With this thought, the words “every day” flashed through my mind and I started humming the tune by Buddy Holly. Here’s an excerpt from Everyday:

Everyday, it's a gettin' closer,
Goin' faster than a roller coaster,
Love like yours will surely come my way, (hey, hey, hey)

Everyday, it's a gettin' faster,
Everyone says go on up and ask her,
Love like yours will surely come my way, (hey, hey, hey)

Everyday seems a little longer,
Every way, love's a little stronger,
Come what may, do you ever long for
True love from me?

Everyday, it's a gettin' closer,
Goin' faster than a roller coaster,
Love like yours will surely come my way, (hey, hey, hey)

How true these words from the 1950’s are in today’s world. The days surely are going by faster and faster as time speeds up in this accelerated universe.

And, every day I am a bit more awake from the illusion than I was the prior day. I’m a bit more open, more kind, patient. I am stronger, standing in my power, that which comes from Source.

I’m getting closer and closer to Spirit every day. It seems this song could be about love from God coming my way every day. And that’s so true. God’s love is ever present - every minute, every hour, every day.

Every day - no matter the length of the sun shining - is a day to grow stronger in loving others and getting closer to my Higher Power. Hey, hey! Amen!

Intention

I still find myself these days not hearing guidance as directly, as often, or as clearly as I would like. It was suggested to me that setting an intention could very well prove useful in this situation. And, of course, setting and holding intentions is beneficial and powerful in all areas of one’s life.

So I’m setting intentions for this day:

I intend that God, my angels, my guides, and all other beings interested in my upliftment speak to me clearly in ways I understand -

I intend to follow the clear guidance given me -

I intend to walk through this day in peace, love, and joy -

I intend to be aware of all that I am grateful for -

I intend to remain open to receiving God’s grace -

I intend to be a patient, good listener and to shine my light in service to others -

I intend that this day is a productive one, enjoying and effectively doing the work Spirit sets before me -

I intend that when my head hits the pillow tonight I will have felt the power of setting intentions and fall asleep with a smile on my face enveloped in the knowing presence of Spirit, my angels, and my guides.

Glowing

In my early years of 12 Step program work and cultivating my relationship with my Higher Power, people new to my life as well as old, would comment that there was something “different” about me. Yes, I had lost some weight, but that was not quite it. I was “glowing” many would say.

Most could not pinpoint the reason back of it, just as Bill initially couldn’t when Ebby visited him (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 9). Bill was amazed that his friend was sober, but there was something in addition to his sobriety. Ebby explains that he has found “religion” (in this case, aka “spirituality”) and a God of his understanding. And so it was with me.

In the years since, my glow has ebbed and flowed, ebbed and flowed. But last night in my class “Spiritual Evolution in Consciousness” someone told me I was “glowing” and another commented that I seemed uplifted. I didn’t have a chance to reply, but I know it was for the same reason as it was for Ebby and for me off and on over the years of my spiritual journey.

Spending more and more time with Spirit, especially in the realm of gathering with fellow journeyers, strengthens my inner divine spark. My heart opens, my character assets come to the foreground (and remain there longer), I am at peace and in love and joy. All because of my deepened relationship with the God of my understanding.

Putting God first in my life, puts the glow in me, and I shine from the inside out. I serve God as a power of example to others about what Higher Power can do for me that I never could do for myself. I am grateful.

Trust

Rog and I were talking over breakfast about trust. He’s participating in a thread on LinkedIn regarding the concept about if it is possible for there to be trust in business. To me it’s an absurd notion to even think of! Still, with the way the world is going today economically, politically, etc., it is clear that there have been grave breaches of trust by people and institutions, including business, and so it is no wonder that this topic is up for discussion.

I cannot imagine any sort of relationship - be it, personal, social, romantic, ‘even’ business - that can survive, let alone flourish and be healthy without a foundation of trust.

I shudder to think what life would be like if I couldn’t make the assumption that the other party was operating from a position of honesty and trustworthiness.

Of course, us spiritual beings having a human experience can fall short of the mark which means that we can make mistakes. But if I know the other person is coming from a place of integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness, I’m most apt to be understanding and accepting.

Nonetheless, I know the ultimate trust is in only one being - God. I place my trust in Source so that regardless of the craziness of the world and people around me, I know that I am taken care of and all is well.

Let It Be

Yesterday I attended a talk given by Timothy Buzzard of Unity of Sedona. If I got it right, the crux of his message was that no one is in a position to judge. Any person or situation can provide profound usefulness in the midst of seeming discomfort and even horror, so why judge it?

If I believe there is a Divine Intelligence at work, then everything, everything, everything - and everyone - is here for a reason. I may not know what it is, but I can rest assured that there is purpose behind it all.

From that viewpoint, I endeavor to see the blessing in everything and everyone. I surrender into Spirit’s wisdom and love, and I just let things and people be. I do not judge lest I be judge - and there is simply no point in judging, it is moot.

In my earlier days of awakening, I never fully appreciated some of John Lennon’s songs, the lyrics as well as the music. It is only in recent years that I’ve realized the depth of and enjoyed the powerful spiritual meaning behind his “Imagine.” And yesterday, I came to see the same when Timothy played a gospel version of “Let It Be.”

With God in charge, I can simply let things be.

“Let It Be” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Pray for... Laughter

A recent posting on the Our Prayer website stated: “In the moment of sincere laughter, our heart is open as we experience true joy and gratitude for life.”

That’s the spiritual side, but there is also physical healing in humor. We know that laughter can improve heart rate, ease muscle tension and strengthen the immune system.

What a blessing laughter is. So why not pray for it?

A Prayer for Laughter

Dear Lord,
The day can be challenging.
Often our problems overwhelm our joys.
Today help me to see the moments that lighten my heart.
Help me to laugh more and fret less.
May the radiance and joy of your love shine in me.
Amen.

- OurPrayer.org

It's God

Life is not meant to be focused on stress and worry, but on freedom and joy (culled from Today’s Daily Word, April 17, 2010). Stress and worry come from ego, freedom and joy emanate from Spirit.

Thus it is natural for me to feel more connected to God when I feel free and full of joy. And, it is a sacred circle dance: as I focus on God, I feel free and full of joy, and feeling free and joyful, I feel greater connection to God.

I’ve been wondering if the gratitude I have felt recently - the natural, ‘unforced’ kind with my heart singing - is perhaps also joy. It seems that they go hand-in-hand as well.

Regardless of the labels, it is clear to me that my spirit is feeling very much lifted up these days. It’s not dependent on outside people or circumstances; it’s something within. To me, it’s God.

All I Have to Say Is...

... Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, God!

I am so grateful. No, it’s not Gratitude Circle morning - that’s tomorrow - , but I sure am feeling grateful.

My gratitude stems from my soul being so very fed these recent months. So it’s not because everything is going as perfectly as I want them to in the outer world; it’s because I’m taking care of the inner.

It seems that feelings of gratitude beget feelings of gratitude, a wonderful upward spiral of delightful energy and frequency. My life is so rich, perhaps not financially, but in ways far more important and meaningful to me. It is simply a matter of time that that too will flow because of doing the work and feeling and expressing gratitude.

It is also true that when I’m not feeling gratitude so naturally, consciously focusing on what I am grateful for is a way to start getting me to feel that way and lift me up. That’s when I make a mental or written gratitude list, and my heart starts to soar once again.

All comes from Spirit
All comes from Source
My heart sings sweetly
When I stay on course.

Prosperity

Today’s Daily Word is Prosperity: “I prosper as I live a life of purpose.” It reminds me that when my purpose is to serve God, I am supported in all I do.

And, when I focus on serving, connection to Spirit and my fellow travelers abounds. It is so clear that God is my Source for everything and I prosper physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and financially.

I am grateful to be able to rest in this Truth this day. Thank You, God!

A Single Prayer

I did some more inner child and gestalt work over this past weekend. Gestalt Therapy was developed by Fritz Perls and his wife Laura, in the 1940’s; their work emphasized a phenomenological and subjective approach to therapy.

Perls noted that many of us split off our experience (thoughts, sensations, emotions) that are uncomfortable. One goal of his work is to move people into owning their experience and developing into a healthy gestalt (or whole). In addition to helping the client overcome symptoms, the objective of Gestalt Therapy is to enable him or her to become more fully and creatively alive and to be free from the blocks and unfinished issues that may diminish optimum satisfaction, fulfillment, and growth.

I felt a shift in my body as my 15 year-old spoke, confided, and sobbed to her older self, the current me. Who else could she talk to who would so know and understand what it was like living in the family? It was also helpful having that child hold a conversation with her mother over an upsetting - and revealing - childhood incident.

This work brought freedom to my soul. It’s not over yet, but it is a huge step towards wholeness, being all that I was created to be and express, and living from my true essence.

I am so very grateful for the loving and wonderful teachers and counselors who are a part of my life these days. Bless them! Most of them I’ve only recently met since moving to Sedona 5½ months ago, but it’s clear that we are not strangers - we are f-a-m-i-l-y. I feel like we are from the same wonderful tribe, helping one another heal and awaken.

So this morning, with a great enthusiasm for life and the people in it, my conversation with God is a simple prayer: Thank You, God - Thank You, God - Thank You, God!

The Privileged Child

Charles Fillmore, in his essay entitled Overcoming the Poverty Idea writes “Thoughts are not all of the same importance.” There are some that frighten us into submission to their reign.

It is suggested that to rid one’s mind of fearing results should we dare to meet these domineering thoughts of error and openly oppose their reign, one needs to get a clear perception of what one’s rights are as a child of God.

Hmmm.... “rights .. as a child of God.” That’s ‘interesting.’ And, powerful and uplifting!

As a child of God, I “...should not be under the dominion of anything in the heavens above or in the earth below. You are given dominion over all.”

Mr. Fillmore continues on about the story of David and Goliath. “The name David means “the beloved of the Lord” and David represents your righteous perception of your privileges as a child of the living God. You are not a slave to anything or anybody. You cannot be alarmed by the threat of this god of mammon. You have the perception of Truth and you sling it at the center of his carnal thinking, which is the forehead.”

There is this idea is my mind that can slay all the frightening Goliaths in my life, and it is to perceive my proper place in Divine Mind. When I do so, fear cannot overpower me. I operate from a place of strength, wholeness, faith. I am imbued with peace, joy, and love. I am free.

All is well in my kingdom within for I know my heritage and exercise my privileges as a holy child of God. I am grateful for my Father.

Freedom

Freedom is remembering who I truly am and means I operate from that center.

Freedom is getting the gunk of emotions out of my body so that I am no longer contracted.

Freedom is setting and keeping boundaries with others. And, if the other person has trouble with that, I continue to remember who I am.

Freedom is waking up. It may sometimes feel painful, but “this too shall pass.” And, on the other side of it lays peace, love, and joy. Some say it takes courage - I say that there’s no choice for me if I want to be healed, whole, healthy, and in the state of my true me.

Freedom is remembering I am a holy, blessed, loved, Child of God - just like you.

Ego Lessons

“Our ego often stands in the way of our well-being. Anyone may be God’s messenger and God may speak to us in the most commonplace event. God will get through to us when we’re open to God’s message.

“I will remember that God is with me and all is well.” - In God’s Care, April 11

Of late, it seems that little events orchestrated by ego have arisen in which my Higher Self has been able to quickly drill down to the Truth. Thus, my awakening grows.

I am so grateful for the people and situations springing up in my path to show me what is real and what is true; they are indeed all blessings.

The simple Truth is God is with me and all is well.

Am I Willing?

“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” - Step 3 of the 12 Step Program of Recovery

Today I remind myself that this Step is not about doing anything - it is about deciding. Still, I pause to think if I really want to turn my will (thoughts) and life (actions) over to Spirit. For if I do, I must accept not just the so-called “good” stuff but the so-called “bad” as well.

If I trust God, then nothing is “good” or “bad” and all is for my upliftment. Am I willing to walk through all of it to reach a better place? A place of greater love, joy, peace? Yes, I am. I want to wake up and be all that I already am, all that Spirit created me to be that I’ve forgotten.

Today I will continue deciding to turn my will and my life over to the care of God - I’m sure it will be quite the adventure!

The Truth

When I keep open my mind and heart to the wisdom of God, I no longer allow minor disturbances to confuse me. I see below surface appearances to what is true.

Take, for instance, my getting a bit perturbed the other day when I found out an acquaintance had not bothered consulting me about a project she was working on. Didn’t she know I had some connections?... Didn’t she know that I might have been able to help? I felt neglected and ‘less than’.

And, gratefully, Spirit woke me up to see ego at work. After all, I’m only an acquaintance to this woman... and I’m not the only person on the planet that might have some helpful knowledge or a good network of contacts. And, besides, I’m not particularly drawn to having this person in my life. So what’s this feeling of being slighted (as I saw it) about anyway? It’s nothing more than my ego wanting to be bolstered, massaged, given attention to. Ah-ha!

In practically an instant, I recognized what was going on and woke up! In my awakened heart, I wished this person well, blessed her success - and thanked her silently for being yet another conduit for me to learn about my inner world by looking at the outer.

God’s messages and messengers are all around me, inviting me to wake up to the Truth. And the Truth is that I am a holy child of God, powerful, loved, loving, and graced.

Thank You, God!

In This Very Moment

In the present moment...
... I breathe the breath of life
... I am at peace
... I feel calm
... I feel joy
... lays the field of prosperity
... all is well
... is where Grace flows
... miracles happen
... I feel God’s Presence
... I am one with Source
... I am always grateful
... is eternity.

Spiritual Acts

Yesterday’s blog touched upon spirituality as action. Last night I was on the receiving end of it.

I’m enrolled in this course called “Spiritual Evolution in Consciousness.” One segment each time involves working in triads with one person as the Sharer, another the Listener, and the third the Observer and holder of the sacred space.

After sharing a recent incident that I was seeking to better understand my old familiar reaction to and thus heal it, I was able to connect some dots from it and my childhood. That felt like progress towards my healing and I was grateful for my colleagues for helping me get to that point. That was spirituality as action on their part.

When we came to the final larger circle of sharing of the evening a man shared the profound insight he received during his triad work. It revolved around his father never telling him as a child that he loved him. However, J---- , over time, was able to teach his dad how to do so and today they enjoy a closer, healthier relationship.

I guess I was open enough by this time in the evening to really take that in. And in so doing, the pain from my own father never uttering the words “I love you” - or even writing them in a card - surfaced straight to the top of my consciousness - and my heart. It cracked right open after I shared out loud that I was happy for J---- whilst still acknowledging my own pain.

We are healed in many ways, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. And often, for me, it involves other people bearing witness and then extending themselves through spirituality in action. A smile, a kind word, a hug, allowing me to cry in their arms - all are spiritual acts, all promote healing of the individual and the planet.

I was blessed to be the recipient of many such acts last night. From each of those people, God’s kindness and grace shone through. Embraced with such love and the knowledge that I am never alone, I move along in my healing journey to wake up, myself better able to express spirituality in action to others.

I am so grateful. Thank You, God - all of you!

Into Action

“The life of the spirit is centrally and essentially a life of action. Spirituality is something done, not merely something believed or known or experienced.” - Mary McDermott Shideler

Living as a monk in a monastery in isolation I would venture is a relatively easy experience compared to being involved in the outside, crazy world. In the outer world however, is where I think the lessons for waking up often come more readily as I interact with a myriad of situations and people.

When I go beyond myself and am of service is often when I feel closest to Spirit. And, that means I am practicing spiritual principles more readily: faith, love, compassion, empathy... I am putting spirituality into action. As the expressions go, “I am putting my money where my mouth is” and I am “practicing what I preach.” For as the Big Book says (page 88), “Faith without works is dead.”

God is with me in all circumstances and with all whom I meet on my path. In the quiet times of silence I connect and refuel; then I venture out into the outer world, putting my spirituality into action. I let God express Its love and light through me; I am a power of example.

Plans

From time to time throughout my lifetime - especially when my ego was comparing me to other people - I would regret that I had not consciously planned out my life. You know, like the boy in 3rd grade who just knew he wanted to be a doctor and was preparing for med school at age 8. Or, the young lady in junior high who was already singing in musical theatre.

I received little guidance from my parents about this game called life, and simultaneously there did not seem to be any great specific desires inside me to stir me up.

Sure, I knew that I wanted to go to college despite my parents never asking me what I was going to do with my life after high school. And, I had this great yearning for what I would now call my twin flame. I seemed to have mini-plans but nothing that tied them all together.

When I entered the 12 Step program twenty years ago I heard many slogans to assist me from ‘picking up’ and to live life on life’s terms. One of these was “Failing to plan is planning to fail;” I have to say I was never quite comfortable with that one. Perhaps I felt it a bit contra to other ideas like God has a plan for me and more will be revealed, etc. And, then there’s the joke “How do you make God laugh? Tell Him you plans!”

On my journey I’ve embraced the notion that I’m a powerful being and co-create my life, and I’ve embraced I’m powerless and God is in charge. Well, which is it?

These days I once again am back to the idea that God has a plan for me and there’s really not much I can do about it. I do not find that aversive because the God of my understanding is total Love, Goodness, Grace, Joy, etc., so Its plan for me can only have such qualities as well. And, this is actually a relief. I can surrender and rest in Spirit’s most loving and competent hands and know that all is well. And, of course, it’s my choice to have an attitude of gratitude even when I can’t see the blessings in the darkness.

Yes, I am powerful, but only because that power comes through from Source. And, Source indeed has a divine plan for me.

Having learned about living in the Now, as I reflect back on my childhood so many years ago, perhaps I was a bit more ‘together’ than I give myself credit for. Just maybe I didn’t make a conscious plan for my life because I was simply living in the present moment, letting my life unfold according to the plan of an Unseen Power. And, my life was exactly how God planned it.

The Circle

At yesterday’s Gratitude Circle there was a lot of sharing about life, death, rebirth, ‘burning in the fire’, and family too. They’re really all related, ya know?

My 12 Step brethren and the Unity of Sedona folks are my true family. Unlike my family of origin, they have taught and continue to teach me about how to live life healthfully and joyfully. They were and are the ones who teach me about love and practice it.

When I am in the fire, having an episode of the dark night of the soul, as they share their experience and their love, I grow and move out of it. In times of death of a person or my own dying to become who I really am, they are there to shine their light and love as I go through my anger, grief, my healing process.

I come out of the circle filled with more love than when I entered, refreshed and reborn to go out into life and the world so as to continue my learning and to share what has so generously been given to me.

Today is Easter. Today and every day I am reborn into greater love, understanding, and awakening to what is truly real. There is no need to ever be alone. In the circle and especially today it is clear in many ways that you, me, and the Father are One.

We are living in grace.

God in Our Midst

Here it is Saturday morning, another opportunity to reflect on what I am grateful for as I prepare to attend my circle of gratitude.

Last night I attended what for me was a most unusual event: a celebration of Passover and the Last Supper. It was a evening of learning, music, joining together - and, of course, food! I appreciate our hostess opening up her home to us. More importantly, I so appreciate her opening up her rich heart.

E. is an awesome woman. She is a gracious, generous, and appreciative hostess. She has the joy, curiosity, innocence, and wonderment of a child; the education, life experience, and wisdom of an elder; the love, peace, and patience of a saint. Even her singing voice makes me think of an angel. Obviously she has a very close connection to Source; it is an inspiration to witness and makes me feel a part of.

I am grateful for people such as E. who so clearly convey to me that Spirit is not only present, but is within each of us, reaching out to others and showing them that God is in them too and that we are One.

God bless.

Comfort

God does not comfort us to make us comfortable but to make us comforters. - J. H. Jowett

Through my reaching bottom with my eating disorder and then recovering by developing a conscious relationship with the God of my understanding and practicing the 12 Step principles, I came to recognize my life had purpose.

Through my experiences of spiraling downward and then reclaiming myself and my life, I was and am, able to help others on their journey. Through sharing my experience, strength, and hope, I am a comforter.

Just as Spirit comforted me and let me know I was not alone, so too I comfort others and let them know they are never alone. As my soul continues to blossom and wake up, I carry the message that with God all things are possible and heaven is within us, here, right now.

A Different Day

“Mining the moment for something that feels good, something to appreciate, something to savor, something to take in, that's what your moments are about. They're not about justifying your existence. It's justified. You exist. It's not about proving your worthiness. It's done. You're worthy. It's not about achieving success. You never get it done. It's about "How much can this moment deliver to me?"” - Abraham, Excerpted from the 04.20.02 San Antonio, TX workshop #391

Today I decided to work at home and not schedule any client appointments so that I could focus on the client work awaiting me here in my office.

OK, I’m not setting the alarm clock. It’s a chance to catch up on sleep because usually 7 days/week I’ve got outside commitments commencing at 8 AM.

Ohhh, that means my morning practice is going to be off schedule. Oh well, I can at least squeeze some spiritually-focused reading in...

What a chance to have a sit down hot, homemade pancake breakfast with Rog we never break bread in the morning these days. The clock is ticking...

Ah, a good day for a short photo-op for my upcoming e-newsletter. It won’t take much time...

And, I need to research where to get our haircuts. Now’s as good a time as any.

Great article here about prayer - let me read it now...

Time for some lunch... I’ll eat at my desk to play catch up with time.

And, on and on and on.

In the past I would have engaged in self-flagellation for not doing the work I had planned to accomplish. These days, not so. I am present and enjoying what I am doing. I’m enjoying the moments that I’m stringing along that comprise this first day of April in 2010. And it’s actually been “productive”! So what’s the issue? It’s just a different type of day unfolding because I’m letting it do so with Spirit’s help.

I am not here to treat myself harshly, nor am I here to push, push, push. I’m not here to prove or justify myself. I am here to rest in the joy, love, and peace of God’s embrace.

It’s one day at a time with Spirit by my side. Whatever I am doing, all is perfect, all is in Divine Order. So why get bent out of shape because I didn’t follow my calendar or ‘to-do’ list? I am exactly where I am supposed to be and all is well.

Thank You, Spirit, for Your Wisdom making its way through to me, along with Your Peace, Love, and Joy.